Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that men and women have different qualities. Therefore, some certain jobs are suitable for men and some jobs are suitable for women. v.9

Some people think that men and women have different qualities. Therefore, some certain jobs are suitable for men and some jobs are suitable for women. v. 9
People have different opinions about whether women and men could fit the same type of work or not. Some people argue that both genders have the same capabilities, while others oppose this point of view. This essay will discuss both arguments. On the one hand, people who claim  that both men and  women could occupy the same types works, based their idea on the fact that the world has changed, these days more and more women  go outside  to work, and this development  has approved  that women are able to perform  jobs successfully. For instance, many sensitive positions are occupied by women such as politics, teachers and doctors. According to this, it is clear that there is no any difference regarding the gender and the most significant factor is the individual abilities. On the other hand, there are people who said that women and men cannot suit the same type of employment. Due to physical and natural differences, women are not able to choose a career in the army, for example, because these types of jobs are quite difficult, and need a stronger body. In contrast, some jobs are more suitable  for women such as nursing and caring, because  they  have what it is  called  caring nature. In conclusion, this essay has looked at both views regarding the abilities to suits in different types of works and gender. It would seem that women and men are capable of having the same type of careers and individual ability is far essential than gender choice.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions about whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
could fit the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or not.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that both genders have the same capabilities, while others oppose this point of view. This essay will discuss both arguments.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who claim
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
that both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
could occupy the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
works, based their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
on the fact that the world has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
, these days more and more women
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
go outside
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, and this development
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
has approved
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are able to perform
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
jobs
successfully
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sensitive positions
are occupied
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
such as politics, teachers and doctors. According to this, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that there is
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
any difference regarding the gender and the most significant factor is the individual abilities.

On the other hand
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who said that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
cannot suit the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
of employment. Due to physical and natural differences,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are not able to choose a career in the army,
for example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of jobs are quite difficult, and need a stronger body.
In contrast
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
jobs are more suitable
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
such as nursing and caring,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
they
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
have what it is
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
called
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
caring nature.

In conclusion
, this essay has looked at both views regarding the abilities to suits in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of works and gender. It would seem that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
are capable of having the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
of careers and individual ability is far
Use "(essential)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
essential
than gender choice.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that men and women have different qualities. Therefore, some certain jobs are suitable for men and some jobs are suitable for women. v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts