Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that men and women have different qualities. Therefore, some certain jobs are suitable for men and some jobs are suitable for women. v.11

Some people think that men and women have different qualities. Therefore, some certain jobs are suitable for men and some jobs are suitable for women. v. 11
It has been widely  acknowledged  that the number of working  women increased  significantly  over the last century, and they  got involved  in the  different types  of  works. This topic  is in particular  importance  because the equality between  women  and men  has become  one of  the  most debated  issues. This essay will discuss whether both sexes suitable for whatever job or not. On the one hand, the main reason why women and men can occupy the same type of work is related to mental ability and intelligence. There is no relation between individual ability and gender. For example, the most important part when someone applying for a job in most companies is the grade and the certificate rather than the gender. Moreover, there are women who have become a policeman, which is quite dangerous, and they are successful in their careers. On the other hand, there are some types of works which is not suitable for all. Jobs that require physical activity, for instance, are more likely to be filled by men such as builder and army. In contrast, women are quite emotional and they have which is called (caring nature), for this reason, they are more suitable to be employed in nursing and caring. In these instances, obviously, women and men have different natural abilities. In conclusion, this essay has looked at whether women and men should have the same jobs or not. It would seem that women and men are capable of having the same type of careers, and individual ability is far important than the gender identity. Perhaps, with the development in the world, females can occupy more sensitive positions.
It has been
widely
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
acknowledged
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
that the number of working
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
increased
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
significantly
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
over the last century, and they
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
involved
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
in the
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
of
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
works. This topic
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
is
in particular
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
importance
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the equality between
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
women
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
has become
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
one of
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
the
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
most debated
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
issues. This essay will discuss whether both sexes suitable for whatever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
or not.

On the one hand, the main reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
can occupy the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
of work
is related
to mental ability and intelligence. There is no relation between individual ability and gender.
For example
, the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part when someone
The pronoun 'someone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "applies", "applied".
applying
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
is the grade and the certificate
rather
than the gender.
Moreover
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
who have become a policeman, which is quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
, and they are successful in their careers.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of works which is not suitable for all.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Jobs
that require physical activity,
for instance
, are more likely to
be filled
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
such as builder and army.
In contrast
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are quite
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
emotional and
they have which
is called
(caring nature),
for this reason
, they are more suitable to
be employed
in nursing and caring. In these instances,
obviously
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
natural abilities.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
conclusion, this essay has looked at whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
should have the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
or not. It would seem that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
are capable of having the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
of careers, and individual ability is far
Use "(important)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
important
than the gender identity. Perhaps, with the development in the world, females can occupy more sensitive positions.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that men and women have different qualities. Therefore, some certain jobs are suitable for men and some jobs are suitable for women. v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts