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In some countries, using the internet in school is getting popular. Is it positive or negative development? v.1

In some countries, using the internet in school is getting popular. Is it positive or negative development? v. 1
It is an irresistible fact that over the past few decades the world has witnessed the rapid strides in technology, especially in the field of education, as it has been seen that utilisation of internet has expanded among the schools in many countries. In my opinion, it has both positive and negative developments and effects. While spotlighting the positive development, I can say that it is highly imperative for today's pupils that they know about the new technology in this competitive epoch. So, to allow the internet in school can play a key role in the development of a student. By knowing the advantages of the internet, the young students can comprehend any concept of study which is not understood by them in classrooms. For verification, it is illustrated that the students who are well recognised with internet usage in school time, do not usually face the inconvenience in further life. On the contrary, in spite of the internet being such helpful in school, its drawbacks cannot be overlooked. It is likely that the pupils can be overdependent on the internet. It can swallow the direct interaction between students and teacher. For instance, there are many websites on the internet with which students can attend any lecture of his class through the internet while sitting at home. So he or she probably make it a habit and as to he or she can give preference to the online methods of study. Furthermore, there is surety that every student would use this technology in a positive way. So far I have written to be concluded that it is in the hand of the school department to make the positive development of usage of internet in school. They should allow the students to use the internet to such an extent that it cannot impact the practical knowledge and interaction of the students with teacher.
It is an irresistible fact that over the past few decades the world has witnessed the rapid strides in technology,
especially
in the field of education, as it has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilisation' is British English.
utilisation
of internet has expanded among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries. In my opinion, it has both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developments
and effects.

While spotlighting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
, I can say that it is
highly
imperative for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's pupils that they know about the new technology in this competitive epoch.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
the internet in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
can play a key role in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
. By knowing the advantages of the internet, the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can comprehend any concept of study which is not understood by them in classrooms. For verification, it
is illustrated
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who are well
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognised' is British English.
recognised
with internet usage in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
time, do not
usually
face the inconvenience in
further
life.

On the contrary
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
the internet being such helpful in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, its drawbacks cannot
be overlooked
. It is likely that the pupils can be overdependent on the internet. It can swallow the direct interaction between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and teacher.
For instance
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
websites on the internet with which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can attend any lecture of his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
through the internet while sitting at home.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
he or she
probably
The pronoun 'she' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "makes", "made".
make
it a habit and as to he or she can give preference to the online methods of study.
Furthermore
, there is surety that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this technology in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
way.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
far I have written to
be concluded
that it is in the hand of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
department to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of usage of internet in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. They should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the internet to such an extent that it cannot impact the practical knowledge and interaction of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with teacher.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, using the internet in school is getting popular. Is it positive or negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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