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Some people think that managers alone should take decisions in the company while others think that employees should be involved in the decision-making process. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people think that managers alone should take decisions in the company while others think that employees should be involved in the decision-making process. v. 1
It is clear that the recent debate on the role of wealth in life does not seem to come to an end anytime soon. Although having a great deal of surplus money could serve people with basic demands and necessities, it does have some certain implications on the status quo and current lifestyle. There is a multitude of merits of property that the advocates of attaching much importance on the value of money could argue. First, bill can be a tool to motivate people to achieve major milestones in life. This indicates that, these days, people have a tendency of chasing the play of materialism, thinking about success and prosperous life will provoke the willing in their mind in tandem with the productivity in learning and work, which, in turn, asserting the significance of salary in modern society. Second, since people have a great deal of payment, they could move up the status ladder. If one becomes successful and owns a large fortune, for instance, he/she will be gathered and surrounded by lots of people, who spend a various applause and admirations for his/her affluence, which makes individuals satisfied with their present lives and hopeful about the future. Nevertheless, others are in favour of the idea that salary is not the most importance in life. First, making wage to excess would not guarantee the happiness in relationships. For example, when becoming wealthy and affluent, people around them are no longer whom they could share with, in terms of spirituality and materially, especially, rich people tend to have a superiority complex, which accidentally erects a solid wall and being separated from the society. Second, since following the success of materialism, people are becoming pay no attention to themselves. In fact, one of the most important factors in human’s life is well-being, physically and mentally, health cannot be bought and in a flourishing society, people exert themselves to pursue the material comfort at the expense of their well-being, spending no time relaxing and enjoying the activity, thus leading to the degradation of energy. In conclusion, we cannot deny that both sides are well-grounded. Although money plays a crucial part in life, it leads people to lose sight of the real sources of happiness and prevents them from the true value of things, which come from relationships and fitness condition.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the recent debate on the role of wealth in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
does not seem to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
anytime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
. Although having a great deal of surplus money could serve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with basic demands and necessities, it does have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
certain implications on the status quo and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
lifestyle.

There is a multitude of merits of property that the advocates of attaching much importance on the value of money could argue.
First
, bill can be a tool to motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to achieve major milestones in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. This indicates that, these days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a tendency of chasing the play of materialism, thinking about success and prosperous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
will provoke the willing in their mind in tandem with the productivity in learning and work, which, in turn, asserting the significance of salary in modern society. Second, since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a great deal of payment, they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
up the status ladder. If one becomes successful and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owns
a large fortune,
for instance
, he/she will
be gathered
and surrounded by lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who spend a various applause and
Possible spelling mistake found.
admirations
for his/her affluence, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
individuals satisfied with their present
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and hopeful about the future.

Nevertheless
, others are in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that salary is not the most importance in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
First
, making wage to excess would not guarantee the happiness in relationships.
For example
, when becoming wealthy and affluent,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around them are no longer whom they could share with, in terms of spirituality and
materially
,
especially
, rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to have a superiority complex, which
accidentally
erects a solid wall and
being separated
from the society. Second, since following the success of materialism,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are becoming pay no attention to themselves. In fact, one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factors in human’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is well-being,
physically
and mentally, health cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
and in a flourishing society,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
exert themselves to pursue the material comfort at the expense of their well-being, spending no time relaxing and enjoying the activity,
thus
leading to the degradation of energy.

In conclusion
, we cannot deny that both sides are well-grounded. Although money plays a crucial part in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, it leads
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to lose sight of the real sources of happiness and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
them from the true value of things, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from relationships and fitness condition.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
To learn a language is to have one more window from which to look at the world.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Some people think that managers alone should take decisions in the company while others think that employees should be involved in the decision-making process. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
387 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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