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Some people think that libraries are a waste of resources and money to computers should replace them. However, others do not agree. Discuss the both sides and give your opinion. v.1

Some people think that libraries are a waste of resources and money to computers should replace them. However, others do not agree. Discuss the both sides and give your opinion. v. 1
The technological enhancement has significantly improved the quality of life as well as of education. Thus, the way of imparting the education and access to it, is far different how it used to happen decades before. This has drawn a line between two schools of thoughts, in which, population on the one side, is in the favour of the replacement of the libraries with the modern computers, on the other hand, some of them oppose this idea. However, I will describe both views and will give my opinion in the following paragraphs. To begin with the enormous advantages of the technical equipment, in order to access the information, in the field of education, these devices have the intense capability of storage, reliability and security. For example, the modern technical machines come with the vast storage capability, one can store the data up to TB (Tera Byte) in a machine. When it comes to reliability, the developed computing systems are enriched with privacy features, using these, one can keep its data confidential by locking the files, folders and hard-drives, the feature of parental control is one of them, which helps the school administration to keep the students away from vulgar content over the internet. In addition to it, these technically-enabled devices allow the people to save the data for decades, which cannot be destroyed by the fire and it can be secured by using the security products such as firewalls and anti-viruses, in order to get prevention from the information steal by the hackers. Therefore, it is a good idea to replace the libraries by the computers. However, another school of thought defies this notion, as they consider libraries contribute to make the communities stronger and healthier. For example, the populace who love to read and learn in the public libraries, mostly possesses the virtues of calmness, kindness, communication-skills, sharp minded, et Cetra. Apart from this, the libraries have not been a cause of health issues such as eye strain, muscle problem, back pain and more. Thus, the importance of libraries should not be ignored, as these have a significant role in building the stronger and healthier communities. At the end, both of the paragraphs strongly justify their opinions. The libraries and tech-savvy devices are equally useful to enhance the quality of life and these should be utilized by maintaining the balance, so that, everyone can take the advantage of these, in order to make its future bright and heighten the living-level.
The technological enhancement has
significantly
improved
the quality of life
as well
as of education.
Thus
, the way of imparting the education and access to it, is far
different
how it
used
to happen decades
before
. This has drawn a line between two schools of thoughts, in which, population on the one side, is in the
favour
of the replacement of the libraries with the modern computers,
on the other hand
,
some
of them oppose this
idea
.
However
, I will
describe
both views and will give my opinion in the following paragraphs.

To
begin
with the enormous advantages of the technical equipment, in order to access the information, in the field of education, these devices have the intense capability of storage, reliability and security.
For example
, the modern technical machines
come
with the vast storage capability, one can store the data up to TB (
Tera
Byte) in a machine. When it
comes
to reliability, the developed computing systems
are enriched
with privacy features, using these, one can
keep
its data confidential by locking the files, folders and
hard
-drives, the feature of parental control is one of them, which
helps
the school administration to
keep
the students away from vulgar content over the internet.
In addition
to it, these
technically
-enabled devices
allow
the
people
to save the data for decades, which cannot be
destroyed
by the fire and it can
be secured
by using the security products such as firewalls and anti-viruses, in order to
get
prevention from the information steal by the hackers.
Therefore
, it is a
good
idea
to replace the libraries by the computers.

However
, another school of
thought
defies this notion, as they consider libraries contribute to
make
the communities stronger and healthier.
For example
, the populace who
love
to read and learn in the public libraries,
mostly
possesses the virtues of calmness, kindness, communication-
skills
, sharp minded,
et
Cetra
. Apart from this, the libraries have not been a cause of health issues such as eye strain, muscle problem, back pain and more.
Thus
, the importance of libraries should not be
ignored
, as these have a significant role in building the stronger and healthier communities.

At the
end
, both of the paragraphs
strongly
justify their opinions. The libraries and tech-savvy devices are
equally
useful to enhance the quality of life and these should
be utilized
by maintaining the balance,
so
that, everyone can take the advantage of these, in order to
make
its future bright and heighten the living-level.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Some people think that libraries are a waste of resources and money to computers should replace them. However, others do not agree. Discuss the both sides and give your opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
411 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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