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Some people become famous in their early age. Is it bad or good? Discuss and give your opinion. v.2

Some people become famous in their early age. Is it bad or good? Discuss and give your opinion. v. 2
Being successful is what everyone desires, and thus some individuals achieve it at a younger age, others receive it at a later stage in life. However, in my belief, fame at an early age can be either destructive or beneficial depending on the way it is handled. In this essay, we shall discuss this topic further. There are several advantages of being young and famous; for instance, the person receives incredible social importance and recognition. Moreover, there is an ample amount of time to accomplish more as well as it opens the door to new endeavours. Additionally, the juvenile becomes a role model for various others to procure and encourage success. On the contrary, there are two sides to a coin, and hence there are a few setbacks to this; to illustrate, many children fail to manage such fame, and eventually take things for granted and act irresponsibly. Furthermore, at a younger age the mind is not ready to handle the pressure or be decisive rather it is more impractical and childish. Similarly, the child is more accustomed to getting attention and he/she would have the constant trepidation about losing it. Eventually the youngster becomes more secluded as well as spoilt. In addition to this, most of them are drawn away from education due to their hectic schedule and thus are sometimes reckless in their behaviour, for instance, numerous child celebrities have failed to follow their fame at a later period, and eventually get involved in drugs or violence. In conclusion, no rose comes without its thorn, therefore, in my opinion, being famous is not an easy task and thus cannot be managed well by children. Nevertheless, if the child is guided and assisted properly, then surely he/she would have a prosperous future.
Being successful is what everyone desires, and
thus
some
individuals achieve it at a younger age, others receive it at a later stage in life.
However
, in my belief, fame at an early age can be either destructive or beneficial depending on the way it
is handled
. In this essay, we shall discuss this topic
further
.

There are several advantages of being young and
famous
;
for instance
, the person receives incredible social importance and recognition.
Moreover
, there is an ample amount of time to accomplish more
as
well as it opens the door to new
endeavours
.
Additionally
, the juvenile becomes a role model for various others to procure and encourage success.

On the contrary
, there are two sides to a coin, and
hence
there are a few setbacks to this; to illustrate,
many
children fail to manage such fame, and
eventually
take things for granted and act
irresponsibly
.
Furthermore
, at a younger age the mind is not ready to handle the pressure or be decisive
rather
it is more impractical and childish.
Similarly
, the child is more accustomed to getting
attention and
he/she would have the constant trepidation about losing it.
Eventually
the youngster becomes more secluded
as well
as
spoilt
.
In addition
to this, most of them
are drawn
away from education due to their hectic schedule and
thus
are
sometimes
reckless in their
behaviour
,
for instance
, numerous child celebrities have failed to follow their fame at a later period, and
eventually
get
involved in drugs or violence.

In conclusion
, no rose
comes
without its thorn,
therefore
, in my opinion, being
famous
is not an easy task and
thus
cannot
be managed
well by children.
Nevertheless
, if the child
is guided
and assisted
properly
, then
surely
he/she would have a prosperous future.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people become famous in their early age. Is it bad or good? Discuss and give your opinion. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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