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Some people think that keeping pets is good for children while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy. Which opinion do you agree with? Discuss both options and give examples. v.3

Some people think that keeping pets is good for children while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy. Which opinion do you agree with? v. 3
It is believed that such pets as dogs and cats are the most common to be found in everyday life, and researchers have found that keeping them as a companion would benefit children. However, there is also a minority of parents thought that it also has some demerits towards children’s health, which is true indeed. In this essay, I will logically discuss both views from my perspective and give my opinion. On the one hand, pets could accompany children every day while parents are still burden by their duties. Cats, for example, they are the most suitable kind of pets to be kept by children; they are not extremely active, so children are more likely to venture to play with them. Such interactions with animals are believed to nurture children’s confidence. A research held by a professor from the university of Indonesia has proven that 9 out of 10 children who keep in touch with their pets tend to be more active and social in school. On the other hand, pets often being the most contagious being on the planet, yet children’s immune system are not ready to battle such harmful diseases. There’s a pandemic being controversial in Indonesia lately, and researchers have found that it infects children through pets. They have suggested that parents should be more concern towards the hygiene of their pets if they have a child at home, and it only took a few weeks until the disease vanished. To recapitulate, keeping pets will surely benefit children but parents should also make a commitment to avoid such possibilities.
It
is believed
that such
pets
as dogs and cats are the most common to
be found
in everyday life, and researchers have found that keeping them as a companion would benefit
children
.
However
, there is
also
a minority of
parents
thought
that it
also
has
some
demerits towards
children’s
health, which is true
indeed
. In this essay, I will
logically
discuss both views from my perspective and give my opinion.

On the one hand,
pets
could accompany
children
every day while
parents
are
still
burden
by their duties. Cats,
for example
, they are the most suitable kind of
pets
to be
kept
by
children
; they are not
extremely
active,
so
children
are more likely to venture to play with them. Such interactions with animals
are believed
to nurture
children’s
confidence.
A research
held by a professor from the university of Indonesia has proven that 9 out of 10
children
who
keep
in touch with their
pets
tend to be more active and social in school.

On the other hand
,
pets
often
being the most contagious being on the planet,
yet
children’s
immune system are not ready to battle such harmful diseases. There’s a pandemic being controversial in Indonesia lately, and researchers have found that it infects
children
through
pets
. They have suggested that
parents
should be more concern towards the hygiene of their
pets
if they have a child at home, and it
only
took a few weeks until the disease vanished.

To recapitulate, keeping
pets
will
surely
benefit
children
but
parents
should
also
make
a commitment to avoid such possibilities.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that keeping pets is good for children while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy. Which opinion do you agree with? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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