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Some people think that keeping pets is good for children and adults while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy. Which opinion do you agree with? Discuss both options and give examples. v.2

Some people think that keeping pets is good for children and adults while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy. Which opinion do you agree with? v. 2
Nowadays, having a pet in a family is a common situation and it has significantly increased in every community. However, pet-related injuries and growing bad health conditions remain a controversial issue. In this essay will describe both negative effects and psychological benefits which can receive to the children by having pets. Obviously, it is true that toxic pets like sneaks, spiders and etc are definitely dangerous and even can be harmful to human life. No matter how, the majority of children have friendly pets like dogs, cats, fish etc. Those pets are recommended as a domestic pet which is safe and suitable for children. However, many people argue that having a pet can cause serious health problems to human especially children like skin allergies, asthma and sometimes rabies. I highly recommend that before having a pet they should be vaccinated to confirm that they produce immunity against disease and whoever having allergic reaction must stay away from animals. Besides that having a pet in a family is very useful for children and adults as well. Many scientists suggest and approved having pets improve our mood and health. Playing with the pets and take care of them like feeding, grooming and training them are more enjoyable and enthusiastic for children mind. Moreover, some pets, especially dogs can train as a caretaker for people who are disabled and adults who are physically weak. In addition, Having pets like fish are more useful for reducing stress, help children with negative emotions and beneficial for attraction in the house. In conclusion, I strongly believe that keeping a pet in a family can and advantage to prevent depression in children and adults.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a pet in a family is a common situation and it has
significantly
increased in every community.
However
, pet-related injuries and growing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
health conditions remain a controversial issue. In this essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects and psychological benefits which can receive to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
pets.

Obviously
, it is true that toxic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
like sneaks, spiders
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
are definitely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
and even can be harmful to human life. No matter how, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have friendly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
like dogs, cats, fish etc. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
are recommended
as a domestic pet which is safe and suitable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a pet can cause serious health problems to human
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
like skin allergies, asthma and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
rabies. I
highly
recommend that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a pet they should
be vaccinated
to confirm that they produce immunity against disease and whoever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
allergic reaction
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
stay away from animals.
Besides
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a pet in a family is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and adults
as well
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
scientists suggest and approved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our mood and health. Playing with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
and take care of them like feeding, grooming and training them are more enjoyable and enthusiastic for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
mind.

Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
,
especially
dogs can train as a caretaker for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
are disabled
and adults who are
physically
weak.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
like fish are more useful for reducing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
emotions and beneficial for attraction in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
believe that keeping a pet in a family can and advantage to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
depression in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and adults.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
To learn a language is to have one more window from which to look at the world.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Some people think that keeping pets is good for children and adults while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy. Which opinion do you agree with? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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