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Some people think that keeping pets is good for children and adults while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy. Which opinion do you agree with? Discuss both options and give examples. v.1

Some people think that keeping pets is good for children and adults while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy. Which opinion do you agree with? v. 1
Some people believe that technology is now an irreplaceable study device for young people. Others, nonetheless, think that it is harmful to the studying process. Although, some people believe that the phenomenon has no harmful effects on young people, I agree that the harmful effects outweigh the invaluable. When modern equipment is integrated into lessons, students are expected to be more interested in the subjects they are studying. It's provides different opportunities to make learning more fun and enjoyable in terms of teaching the same things in new ways. Moreover, no one learns in the same way because of different learning styles and different abilities. Technology provides great opportunities for making learning more effective for everyone with different needs. Also, modern learning is about collaborating with others, critical thinking, developing different forms of communication and leadership skills, and improving motivation and productivity. On the other hand, there are many dangerous disadvantages of using an electric device as a study tool such as misguided due to the wrong information which can severely harm their educational development. Beside this, automation made student lazy and stubborn. It gives them the power and the opportunity to control everything with a few clicks of the mouse. Cheating is illegal, but the machinery has made it easy with all the resources contained in it. Most importantly, this can lead to the extinction of good handwriting, instead of writing with a pen or pencil, they are likely to type in device and save into the respective folders. Furthermore, the library will be closed soon since EBooks is taking over the normal books, they can easily download it from the internet instead of going to the store. Generally, they might overuse the modern equipment and see some appropriate stuff which can lead to do an illegal crime like cyber bullying. Above all, when young people use tech devices, they have less human interaction. Teachers and parents worry that lack of face to face socializing will leave students unable to communicate effectively when they need to have a real-life conversation. To conclude, although automation is an invaluable study tool for young, it can also affect young people with their mindset of using modern machinery. Teachers and parents should balance the time for them and try to communicate with them more.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that technology is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
an irreplaceable study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Others, nonetheless,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is harmful to the studying process. Although,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the phenomenon has no harmful effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the harmful effects outweigh the invaluable.

When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
equipment
is integrated
into lessons, students are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to be more interested in the subjects they are studying. It's provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
more fun and enjoyable in terms of teaching the same things in new ways.
Moreover
, no one learns
in the same way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
styles and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
abilities. Technology provides great opportunities for making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
more effective for everyone with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
needs.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
is about collaborating with others, critical thinking, developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
forms of communication and leadership
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, and improving motivation and productivity.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
disadvantages of using an electric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
as a study tool such as misguided due to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
information which can
severely
harm their educational development. Beside this, automation made student lazy and stubborn. It gives them the power and the opportunity to control everything with a few clicks of the mouse. Cheating is illegal,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the machinery has made it easy with all the resources contained in it. Most
importantly
, this can lead to the extinction of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
handwriting,
instead
of writing with a pen or pencil, they are likely to type in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
and save into the respective folders.
Furthermore
, the library will
be closed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
since
Possible spelling mistake found.
EBooks
is taking over the normal books, they can
easily
download it from the internet
instead
of going to the store.
Generally
, they might overuse the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
equipment and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
appropriate stuff which can lead to do an illegal crime like
This word is normally spelled as one.
cyber bullying
.
Above all
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
tech
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
, they have less human interaction. Teachers and parents worry that lack of face to face socializing will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
students unable to communicate
effectively
when they need to have a real-life conversation.

To conclude
, although automation is an invaluable study tool for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
, it can
also
affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with their mindset of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
machinery. Teachers and parents should balance the time for them and try to communicate with them more.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that keeping pets is good for children and adults while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy. Which opinion do you agree with? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
381 words
7.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Some people think that keeping pets is good for children and adults while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy. Which opinion do you agree with? Discuss both options and give examples. v.1