Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.18

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. with this statement? v. 18
In the course of History, people have faced complex scenarios related to social status. In fact, the reasons between poverty and richness have generated a lot of discussion since many people argue that the communities where people have similar conditions of life are more likely to be happier than others. I believe that money is not the only factor to be considered when analysing the big picture of development and satisfaction in a society. On the one hand, equality of earnings makes society fairer. Fairly balanced earnings help to provide better conditions for all. In addition, social aspects such as criminal rates and schooling tend to be more successful in nations where the purchasing power is balanced. Recent research conducted by University of Toronto shows that the top 5 countries are also the most balanced in earnings of the population. As a result, people feel more confident and satisfied. On the other hand, lack of money is not the only cause of social problems. Many people suffer from health issues related to alcohol and drugs. Once that addiction is considered a social issue, it is acceptable that some people believe that money cannot solve all. More than this, illegal drugs are usually expensive and are linked to criminal events such as thefts and homicides. As a consequence, the behaviour of some civilians can change the results for satisfaction rates. In conclusion, equality of earnings is a notable aspect to build a better society. I believe that people can reach better results when they feel similar to others. Once most developed societies have adopted a balanced pattern of earnings and remuneration for the population, is clear that this is the way to be followed and embraced by the governments.
In the course of History,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have faced complex scenarios related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
status. In fact, the reasons between poverty and richness have generated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
discussion since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that the communities where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have similar conditions of life are more likely to be happier than others. I believe that money is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
factor to
be considered
when
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
picture of development and satisfaction in a society.

On the one hand, equality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earnings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
society fairer.
Fairly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earnings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to provide better conditions for all.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
aspects such as criminal rates and schooling tend to be more successful in nations where the purchasing power is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balanced
. Recent research conducted by University of Toronto
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the top 5 countries are
also
the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balanced
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earnings
of the population.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel more confident and satisfied.

On the other hand
, lack of money is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
cause of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
problems.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffer from health issues related to alcohol and drugs. Once that addiction
is considered
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
issue, it is acceptable that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that money cannot solve all. More than this, illegal drugs are
usually
expensive and
are linked
to criminal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
such as thefts and homicides. As a consequence, the
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
civilians can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the results for satisfaction rates.

In conclusion
, equality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earnings
is a notable aspect to build a better society. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can reach better results when they feel similar to others. Once most developed societies have adopted a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balanced
pattern of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earnings
and remuneration for the population, is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that this is the way to
be followed
and embraced by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. with this statement? v. 18

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts