Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that it will better for the large companies and industries to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages? v.2

Some people think that it will better for the large companies and industries to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages? v. 2
The proposal in moving the multinational companies outside the cities is an argument both supported and refuted by many. While some believe that this will be beneficial as to promote economic growth in rural areas, others think that it will not be favorable to the company. It is agreed that the advantages outweigh disadvantages as it will be discussed. The major factor to consider in relocating the factories in rural places is economic growth. As this means that more jobs will be generated and people’s quality of life will improve. For example, in the recent survey at the University of Queensland, it concluded that when businesses are spread in the adjacent towns, more residents become employed resulting in the improvement in people’s life. Furthermore, it can also lead to an increase tax collections, making it sufficient to meet the needs of its residents. All of these are the positive indicators of economic growth. In contrast, if the rural areas were not converted into a business district, the town will not progress and still belong to a backward society. The downside effect of massive transformation of the town into an industrial park is the cost of relocation. A huge amount of outflow will be required for a company to reconstruct their infrastructure which includes the manufacturing plants and the satellite offices. The rate of return for this investment will take them a long time to recover and this will have a negative effect on the expected income of the company. In conclusion, I supported the argument that the advantage of economic growth that has a beneficial effect on the society greatly outweigh the relocation cost and late return of investment by the company. It is projected that more companies will be encouraged to do business outside the city.
The proposal in moving the multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
outside the cities is an argument both supported and refuted by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that this will be beneficial as to promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
in rural areas, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it will not be favorable to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that the advantages outweigh disadvantages as it will
be discussed
.

The major factor to consider in relocating the factories in rural places is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
. As this means that more jobs will
be generated
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s quality of life will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
.
For example
, in the recent survey at the University of Queensland,
it concluded
that when businesses
are spread
in the adjacent towns, more residents become employed resulting in the improvement in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s life.
Furthermore
, it can
also
lead to an increase tax collections, making it sufficient to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the needs of its residents. All of these are the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
indicators of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
.
In contrast
, if the rural areas were not converted into a business district, the town will not progress and
still
belong to a backward society.

The downside effect of massive transformation of the town into an industrial park is the cost of relocation. A huge amount of outflow will
be required
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
to reconstruct their infrastructure which includes the manufacturing plants and the satellite offices. The rate of return for this investment will take them a long time to recover and this will have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
income of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

In conclusion
, I supported the argument that the advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
that has a beneficial effect on the society
greatly
outweigh the relocation cost and late return of investment by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. It
is projected
that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
will
be encouraged
to do business outside the city.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that it will better for the large companies and industries to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts