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Some people think that it is wrong to return or give away a gift that has been given to them. Other people think that they should not have to keep a gift that they do not want or need. Which view do you agree with? Explain why? v.2

Some people think that it is wrong to return or give away a gift that has been given to them. Other people think that they should not have to keep a gift that they do not want or need. Which view do you agree with? Explain why? v. 2
Today there is no shortage of debate that people often remove presents which are useless or meaningless. Moreover, a lot of people argue that those gifts consume additional place in their apartments which they can spend for another purposes. From my point of view, this action seems quite wrong because it is unfair toward gift givers and I feel this way for some reasons. First of all, all gifts consist of some memory about person who presented it to you. It is common knowledge that people often consider that handmade presents are pointless. Furthermore, people prefer to make away with it. Also, every person rather gets expensive gift than receives some handmade postcards. However, handmade gifts have sacral meaning for a gift giver because he made a lot of efforts to do it. In addition, this type of presents will help you to remember a person who gave it to you. Secondly, if you are out of present, it can spoil relationship between you and a gift giver. It goes without saying that all things which are hidden will be unveil one day. For example, once I received a gift which was made by my little sister. It was a ludicrous box for juwellerys. For this reason, I decided to eject it. Unfortunately, my sister noticed that I did not use her present, and she saw her box among the trash some days later. After that she took umbrage on me for a long time. Finally, you can use those meaningless presents for another reasons. It is definitely true that all people should make a gift on somebodies` birthdays. Moreover, it is extremely expensive to buy new gifts on every celebration. So, if you have some useless gifts for you, you will be able to present it to somebody and save your money. According to my experience, once I got a shovel as a gift, so I decide to present this unnecessary gift to my grandmother`s next birthday. By the way of conclusion, I am strongly convinced that people should keep gifts which they received, because it will help you to save your memory about this person and also save your money.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
there is no shortage of debate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
remove
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
presents
which are useless or meaningless.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
consume additional place in their apartments which they can spend for another purposes. From my point of view, this action seems quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is unfair toward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
givers and I feel this way for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
consist of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
memory about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who presented it to you. It is common knowledge that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
consider that handmade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
presents
are pointless.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
away with it.
Also
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
rather
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
than receives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
handmade postcards.
However
, handmade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
have sacral meaning for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
giver
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
efforts to do it.
In addition
, this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
presents
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you to remember a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who gave it to you.

Secondly
, if you are out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
, it can spoil relationship between you and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
giver. It goes without saying that all things which
are hidden
will be
Consider using the past participle "unveiled"?
unveil
one day.
For example
, once I received a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
which
was made
by my
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
sister. It was a ludicrous box for
Possible spelling mistake found.
juwellerys
.
For this reason
, I decided to eject it. Unfortunately, my sister noticed that I did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
, and she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
her box among the trash
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
days later. After that she took umbrage on me for a long time.

Finally
, you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
those meaningless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
presents
for another reasons. It is definitely true that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
on somebodies` birthdays.
Moreover
, it is
extremely
expensive to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
on every celebration.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, if you have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
useless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
for you, you will be able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
it to somebody and save your money. According to my experience, once I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a shovel as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I decide to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
this unnecessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
to my
The character between 'grandmother' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "grandmother’s" (curly apostrophe) or "grandmother's" (straight apostrophe).
grandmother`s
next
birthday.

By the way of conclusion, I am
strongly
convinced that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
which they received,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you to save your memory about this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
and
also
save your money.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that it is wrong to return or give away a gift that has been given to them. Other people think that they should not have to keep a gift that they do not want or need. Which view do you agree with? Explain why? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
362 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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