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Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Although, life today is better than it used to be, human behavior causing problems that will mean life in the future is less comfortable. Use specific reasons and examples to support your point of view. v.28

Although, life today is better than it used to be, human behavior causing problems that will mean life in the future is less comfortable. Use specific reasons and examples to support your point of view. v. 28
As the human’s intelligence has progressed throughout the period, it has brought up so many improvements to this world in various spheres like transportation, education, and so on. According to that our lives, today, are much more comfortable and convenient than in the past. On the contrary, sometimes, we as human also causing some problems which make our world become less lively in the future. I strongly agree with this point for some reasons which will be elucidated in this essay. First of all, Due to the industrial revolution in England, It accelerates the growth of this world. As the advent of technological age and civilization, The majority of countries have gradually increased the number of factory and industry in their countries and these industries, finally, have become a steer that makes the world move rapidly. However, With too fast development in the industrial side, causing various serious problems related to the environment. Because many green areas in this world have been exploited and disappeared by our hands. As a result, the trees in the future are getting fewer than before. Finally, it will intensify the damage of the problems such as global warming and constant natural disasters which are threatening us now. Secondly, Not does human only harm our environment, we also pose a threat to animal living. In fact, the number of many species in today are gradually plummeting and the worst is extinction by various factors like a natural disaster, global warming, especially hands of a human. Nowadays there are some people who not paying attention to protecting the environment and inclining to destroy many natural resources including animals in several ways like throwing garbage on the shore of the sea or even in the forests which mostly are a tourist attraction. All of these actions have great to these animals which have no voice to call for their rights to fight back. It is necessary that everyone take this issue into many considerations that we should encourage others to see the importance of the presence of these animals in our society. In summary, When time flies, human’s behavior has changed by changing of the time as well. Not everyone is all perfect. Anyways, I still believe that although we are living in the most comfortable age which caters almost everything for us, however, if we ignore the issues are happening now, as a result, these problems will worsen our world that we don’t want to dwell in anymore.
As the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human’s
intelligence has progressed throughout the period, it has brought up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
improvements to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
in various spheres like transportation, education, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. According to that our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, are much more comfortable and convenient than in the past.
On the contrary
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
, we as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
also
causing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
become less lively in the future. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this point for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons which will
be elucidated
in this essay.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, Due to the industrial revolution in England, It accelerates the growth of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. As the advent of technological age and civilization, The majority of countries have
gradually
increased the number of factory and industry in their countries and these industries,
finally
, have become a steer that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
rapidly
.
However
, With too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
development in the industrial side, causing various serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
related to the environment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
green areas in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
have
been exploited
and disappeared by our hands.
As a result
, the trees in the future are getting fewer than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
Finally
, it will intensify the
The usual collocation for word "damage" is "to" not "of." Revise: "damage to".
damage of
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
such as global warming and constant natural disasters which are threatening us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

Secondly
, Not does
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
harm our environment, we
also
pose a threat to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
living. In fact, the number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
species in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are
gradually
plummeting and the worst is extinction by various factors like a natural disaster, global warming,
especially
hands of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
. Nowadays there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who not paying attention to protecting the environment and inclining to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
natural resources including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in several ways like throwing garbage on the shore of the sea or even in the forests which
mostly
are a tourist attraction. All of these actions have great to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
which have no voice to call for their rights to fight back. It is necessary that everyone take this issue into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
considerations that we should encourage others to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the importance of the presence of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in our society.

In summary, When time flies,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human’s
behavior has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
by changing of the time
as well
. Not everyone is all perfect. Anyways, I
still
believe that although we are living in the most comfortable age which caters almost everything for us,
however
, if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the issues are happening
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
,
as a result
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
will worsen our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
that we don’t want to dwell in anymore.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Although, life today is better than it used to be, human behavior causing problems that will mean life in the future is less comfortable. Use specific reasons and examples to support your point of view. v. 28

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
412 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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