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Some people think that it is more effective for students to study in group while others believe that it is better for them to study on their own. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.2

Some people think that it is more effective for students to study in group while others believe that it is better for them to study on their own. v. 2
Inspired by the realisation that energy consumption can be checked by reducing the time spent by employees in offices, many companies have adopted strategies like reducing the number of days in a month. However, some people feel that such a plan can have a negative impact on the performance of businesses and the welfare of employees. Firstly, there would be a substantial reduction in expenses in terms of electricity consumption, water usage and fuel costs. Moreover, with the reduced working hours and longer leisure time it is likely that the productivity of employees would improve, compensating for the hours lost. For example, the number of days in a week has been reduced from six to five in many government posts in India. While it has substantially cut down costs in terms of lighting and running of job machinery, the work completed in a similar duration has not been seriously affected. Similarly, the commuting of employees and movement of vehicles has been reduced, resulting in substantial fuel savings. Secondly, critics believe that having 32 hours of job do affect output and reduce the earning capacity of employees. This would mean that losing a considerable number of man-hours at the place would affect the performance of companies. Moreover, the loss of wages due to fewer hours can discourage workers. After considering both views, from a broader perspective, the substantial energy saving achieved by modern companies should be given greater prominence. Moreover, the drawbacks can be minimized by introducing alternative methods like telecommuting, where employees do not come to the office, but handle it from home using modern telecommunication systems. In short, although there are minor disadvantages to this system, shorter hours can have greater benefits to individuals and society by saving the depleting resources of the world.
Inspired by the
realisation
that energy consumption can be
checked
by reducing the time spent by
employees
in offices,
many
companies
have adopted strategies like reducing the number of days in a month.
However
,
some
people
feel that such a plan can have a
negative
impact on the performance of businesses and the welfare of employees.

Firstly
, there would be a substantial reduction in expenses in terms of electricity consumption, water usage and fuel costs.
Moreover
, with the
reduced
working
hours
and longer leisure time it is likely that the productivity of
employees
would
improve
, compensating for the
hours
lost.
For example
, the number of days in a week has been
reduced
from six to five in
many
government
posts in India. While it has
substantially
cut
down costs in terms of lighting and running of job machinery, the work completed in a similar duration has not been
seriously
affected
.
Similarly
, the commuting of
employees
and movement of vehicles has been
reduced
, resulting in substantial fuel savings.

Secondly
, critics believe that having 32
hours
of job do affect output and
reduce
the earning capacity of
employees
. This would mean that losing a considerable number of
man
-hours at the place would affect the performance of
companies
.
Moreover
, the loss of wages due to fewer
hours
can discourage workers.

After considering both views, from a broader perspective, the substantial energy saving achieved by modern
companies
should be
given
greater prominence.
Moreover
, the drawbacks can
be minimized
by introducing alternative methods like telecommuting, where
employees
do not
come
to the office,
but
handle it from home using modern telecommunication systems.

In short, although there are minor disadvantages to this system, shorter
hours
can have greater benefits to individuals and society by saving the depleting resources of the world.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that it is more effective for students to study in group while others believe that it is better for them to study on their own. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
295 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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