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Some people think that it is more effective for students to study in a group, while others believe that it is better for them to study alone. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.3

Some people think that it is more effective for students to study in a group, while others believe that it is better for them to study alone. v. 3
Some individuals believe that party exercise is more effective on the other hand, some believe it is better to exercise alone. This essay will analyse both people's views with the conclusion of my own opinion. To begin with, as gang survey consists of different people with different ideas and experiences this will help to solve a problem in a more convenient way. People in a organization share their knowledge and help each other in a way so that there is not any curiosity left behind. For example, if a boy is facing difficulty in solving a mathematical problem, in that case a friend in a company can guide him to get it done. Therefore crowd exercise can be more effective as it is evaluated by a certain number of people in a gang. While others prefer to review alone rather then getting involved in a team setting. By studying alone one can avoid unnecessary distractions that may arise while studying and can effectively concentrate on own study. All people in a body may not have the same goal like others because they enjoy other activities like listening music or playing games. Individuals with these kind of character can distract those with a genuine aim of studying. For example, a club research can be disrupted if someone from the crowd suddenly starts playing music because he is less interested in the faction investigation. To conclude, as both views have their own sound reasons. I believe that one can achieve better in studies by studying alone as unnecessary distractions can be easily avoided.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals believe that party exercise is more effective on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe it is better to exercise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
. This essay will
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's views with the conclusion of my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, as gang survey consists of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and experiences this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to solve a problem in a more convenient way.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
in
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
organization share their knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
in a way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that there is not any curiosity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
behind.
For example
, if a boy is facing difficulty in solving a mathematical problem,
in that case
a friend in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
can guide him to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it done.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
crowd exercise can be more effective as it
is evaluated
by a certain number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in a gang.

“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
others prefer to review
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
rather
Did you mean "than"? 'than' is used for comparisons, 'then' is an expression of time.
then
getting involved in a team setting. By
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
one can avoid unnecessary distractions that may arise while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
and can
effectively
concentrate on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
study.

All
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in a body may not have the same goal
Comparison is written 'the same ... "as"'.
like
others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
activities like listening music or playing games. Individuals with
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of character can distract those with a genuine aim of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
.
For example
, a club research can
be disrupted
if someone from the crowd
suddenly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
playing music
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he is less interested in the faction investigation.

To conclude
, as both views have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
sound reasons. I believe that one can achieve better in studies by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
as unnecessary distractions can be
easily
avoided.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Some people think that it is more effective for students to study in a group, while others believe that it is better for them to study alone. v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
261 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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