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the charts show the number of people who were affected by four types of noise pollution in day and night in cities and rural area v.1

the charts show the number of people who were affected by four types of noise pollution in day and night in cities and rural area v. 1
Breaking the law in the society by the individuals are seen many a times in the past. Adolescent law breakers are increasing in a majority of the nations across the globe. This essay will discuss that the reasons for these trends are financial difficulties and lack of guidance, while the possible solutions include education and creating awareness among the youth. The rate of crime amongst the adolescent crowd is on the rise because they lack employment opportunities, which creates a deficiency in funds, thereby making them adopt the dark path. For example, a study conducted among teenage prisoners showed that, the major reason of them breaking the law was money. In addition, a lot of youngsters are often seen falling prey to a faulty peer company as they do not have anyone to guide them. An incident of orphan teenage boys caught with large quantities of drugs in Punjab is a classic example. Despite all these, there are good methods like educating them and promoting community awareness will help them to avoid these situations. The schools can conduct camps, like, taking the children for rounds to see the life of the prisoners serving sentence, thereby discouraging them to think about committing any crime. Moreover, government can conduct frequent social programmes for the youth, which will encourage them to serve the society and avoid getting influenced by the faulty peer groups. For instance, a camp by the name of Satyamev Jayate was conducted to create social awareness about the drug abuse among the college students was a huge success. In conclusion, there is a sharp rise in the number of young aged criminals around the world. This essay discussed the probable reasons for this trend are monetary issues and no guidance, while the possible solutions for these are educating them at an early stage and community awareness camps.
Breaking the law in the society by the individuals are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a time" or simply "times"?
a times
in the past. Adolescent law breakers are increasing in a majority of the nations across the globe. This essay will discuss that the reasons for these trends are financial difficulties and lack of guidance, while the possible solutions include education and creating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
awareness
among the youth.

The rate of crime
Do not mix variants of the same word ('amongst' and 'among') within a single text.
amongst
the adolescent crowd is on the rise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they lack employment opportunities, which creates a deficiency in funds, thereby making them adopt the dark path.
For example
, a study conducted among teenage prisoners
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that, the major reason of them breaking the law was money.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
youngsters are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
falling prey to a faulty peer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
as they do not have anyone to guide them. An incident of orphan teenage boys caught with large quantities of drugs in Punjab is a classic example.

Despite all these, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
methods like educating them and promoting community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
awareness
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to avoid these situations. The schools can conduct camps, like, taking the children for rounds to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the life of the prisoners serving sentence, thereby discouraging them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about committing any crime.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can conduct frequent social
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
for the youth, which will encourage them to serve the society and avoid getting influenced by the faulty peer groups.
For instance
, a camp by the name of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Satyamev
Possible spelling mistake found.
Jayate
was conducted
to create social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
awareness
about the drug abuse among the college students was a huge success.

In conclusion
, there is a sharp rise in the number of young aged criminals around the world. This essay discussed the probable reasons for this trend are monetary issues and no guidance, while the possible solutions for these are educating them at an early stage and community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
awareness
camps.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
A man who knows two languages is worth two men.
French Proverb

IELTS essay the charts show the number of people who were affected by four types of noise pollution in day and night in cities and rural area v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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