Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.14

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. v. 14
It is argued that people will gain more benefits when engaging in team sports such as football. Other people, however, believe that it is better to participate in individual sports like golf or tennis. I personally agree with the first group. On the one hand, there are a number of reasons why some people think that taking part in individual sports has more advantages. Firstly, people who choose to play solo sports such as swimming or tennis have the opportunity to develop independence. This can be explained by the fact that those who play these sports have no one to help them during the game, so they are forced to develop independent thinking and make their own decisions. Those who take part in team sports, by contrast, often receive support from their team members, which could discourage them from developing these skills. Another reason is that players in solo sports know that their success depends mostly on their effort, determination and concentration. Therefore, these people always make every possible effort to achieve their goals. On the other hand, I would argue that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams such as basketball or football. This is because these sports teach their players valuable life lessons that they could not learn from individual sports. Take football as an example. Those who play this game are taught to work effectively in a team environment and even sacrifice themselves for the sake of their team. Team sports also teach people about leadership which is one of the most important skills in today’s world. In conclusion, although some people say that we should choose to play solo sports such as golf or tennis, I believe that team sports like football bring far more benefits.
It
is argued
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will gain more benefits when engaging in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
football
. Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
however
, believe that it is better to participate in individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
like golf or tennis. I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
first
group.

On the one hand, there are a number of reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that taking part in individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
has more advantages.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
solo
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
such as swimming or tennis have the opportunity to develop independence. This can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
by the fact that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
have no one to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them during the game,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
are forced
to develop independent thinking and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decisions. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, by contrast,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
receive support from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
members, which could discourage them from developing these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Another reason is that players in solo
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
know that their success depends
mostly
on their effort, determination and concentration.
Therefore
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
every possible effort to achieve their goals.

On the other hand
, I would argue that it is more beneficial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
which
are played
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teams
such as basketball or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
football
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
teach their players valuable life lessons that they could not learn from individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. Take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
football
as an example. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
this game
are taught
to work
effectively
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
environment and even sacrifice themselves for the sake of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
also
teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about leadership which is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that we should choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
solo
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
such as golf or tennis, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
football
bring far more benefits.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. v. 14

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts