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Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports, which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.12

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports, which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. v. 12
Few individuals are of the opinion that it is essential to participate in team building sports such as football, while others believe that individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is even better. I agree with the former view than the latter. Sports are based on the ideology of teamwork. In seminars for enthusiastic professionals, companies usually give the example of various sporting events, like volleyball, hockey, cricket etc. For example: in cricket it is necessary for the two batsmen to coordinate with each other in order to meet a certain set of runs. These games require people to participate as a team in order to win the game. Likewise, in corporate ventures, employees need to work together to increase revenue of the company. This teamwork is mostly observed in sport. On a team, a person is expected to comply with certain rules and deal with problems along with his counterparts. The team leader is the most important person as he directs the action on the field, although without his teammates he can't function. Hence, for a group to succeed in any endeavour it is crucial to join hands with each other towards the end goal. On the other hand individual games teach the value of self-expression. When, people set targets for themselves, they are bound to push limits to achieve them. But, they know their capabilities unlike those in a team. Individually, humans evaluate their strengths, and weakness to work accordingly. In conclusion, cohorts of people enable us to accept our team members as they are irrespective of their shortcomings. As, the inability of one person could be the strength of the other, and vice versa.
Few individuals are of the opinion that it is essential to participate in
team
building sports such as football, while others believe that individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is even better. I
agree
with the former view than the latter.

Sports
are based
on the ideology of teamwork. In seminars for enthusiastic professionals,
companies
usually
give the example of various sporting
events
, like volleyball, hockey, cricket etc.
For example
: in cricket it is necessary for the two batsmen to coordinate with each
other
in order to
meet
a certain set of runs. These games require
people
to participate as a
team
in order to win the game.
Likewise
, in corporate ventures, employees need to work together to increase revenue of the
company
. This teamwork is
mostly
observed in sport. On a
team
, a person is
expected
to comply with certain
rules
and deal with problems along with his counterparts. The
team
leader is the most
important
person as he directs the action on the field, although without his teammates he can't function.
Hence
, for a group to succeed in any
endeavour
it is crucial to
join
hands with each
other
towards the
end
goal.

On the
other
hand individual games teach the value of self-expression. When,
people
set targets for themselves, they
are bound
to push limits to achieve them.
But
, they know their capabilities unlike those in a
team
.
Individually
, humans evaluate their strengths, and weakness to work
accordingly
.

In conclusion
, cohorts of
people
enable us to accept our
team
members as they are irrespective of their shortcomings. As, the inability of one person could be the strength of the
other
, and vice versa.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports, which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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