Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. Discuss both view, and give your own opinion. v.10

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. v. 10
A few people argue that whether team sports or individual sports is pivotal to a sports person. From my perspective, sports played in team have their own significance, and individually playing any types of games have different kinds of benefits which will not be gotten if any sportsman plays in a group. For that reason, it is essential of a person’s willingness which types of sports he / she likes to play. On the one hand, Sports which consist of myriads of players such as football in which there are 11 members in each team. As there are a lot of people playing the match, it arouses a sense of unity and adjustment mentality. For example, in football, when the players make plans before the match, all the players have agreed and played accordingly, otherwise, they would not be able to win the match. Moreover, playing sports in a group of people would build up communication skills which not only enhance an individual’s personal qualities, but also boosts that player to achieve success in life. Ergo, team playing has its own achievement, if players have a better communication power. On the other hand, most of the games are being played individually, such as tennis, rafting, surfing, swimming, and so on, to name but a few. In fact, playing alone has needed some extra- courage. This is because, there is neither anyone to help the sports person, nor any extra-tricks which would arise by the players in playing time. Besides that, individual sports teach valuable lessons of life, such as coping with stress. This, eventually, could help the player to do an adjustment tothe environment which could be different from the thinking last night before commencing the game. Therefore, individual sports bring distinguished improvement, if a player intends to play such sorts of games. In conclusion, it is believed by some people that sports played in team have brought success in the life of team members. On the contrary, some people have agreed with the advantages of playing individual sports which release stress-related problems. In my opinion, I would say that both kinds of playing have invariably, its own benefits, but it is significant to concentrate which types of sports, people would like to get involved.
A few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is pivotal to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
person. From my perspective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
played
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
significance, and
individually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
any types of games have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of benefits which will not
be gotten
if any sportsman plays in a group. For that reason, it is essential of a person’s willingness which types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
he / she likes to play.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
which consist of myriads of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
such as football in which there are 11 members in each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
. As there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
the match, it arouses a sense of unity and adjustment mentality.
For example
, in football, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
plans
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the match, all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
played
accordingly
,
otherwise
, they would not be able to win the match.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
in a group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would build up communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
enhance an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual’s
personal qualities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
boosts that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
to achieve success in life. Ergo,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
achievement, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
have a better communication power.

On the other hand
, most of the games are being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
played
individually
, such as tennis, rafting, surfing, swimming, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on, to name
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a few. In fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
alone has needed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extra- courage. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, there is neither anyone to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
person, nor any extra-tricks which would arise by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
time.
Besides
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
teach valuable lessons of life, such as coping with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. This,
eventually
, could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
to do an adjustment
Possible spelling mistake found.
tothe
environment which could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from the thinking last night
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
commencing the game.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
bring distinguished improvement, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
intends to play such sorts of games.

In conclusion
, it
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
played
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
have brought success in the life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
members.
On the contrary
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
with the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
which release
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-related problems. In my opinion, I would say that both kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
have
invariably
, its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is significant to concentrate which types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
375 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts