Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activity that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.3

Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activity that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. v. 3
It' s important to have enough free time, to develop the social life, take a break from the work or from the study and, maybe, to develop new skills and to maintain the mind active. Some people prefer to simply rest, others are more active during their leisure time. In my opinion, although there are some benefits of relaxing activities, is far better to improve the mind rather than simply doing nothing, because it can boost the overall quality of life, reducing the stress. The typical workplace is an extremely fast-paced place, where the employees are constantly under pressure: usually they have to deal with strict deadlines, impolite bosses or colleagues and poor salaries. This lifestyle is undoubtedly unhealthy, both for the body and the mind, so it' s perfectly fine to take a break from this life, slow down the rhythm and simply enjoy the our empty moments. On the other hand, others believe that to not use well our free time is a waste of time. Time is too precious to be wasted, and we should use it for activities that can elevate us in some way, such as reading, playing chess, or practice sports. This is an active way to spend the leisure, in which people not only relax, but actively learn something new and develop new skills. To conclude, I strongly support the active way to spend the free time because, if people can maintain active their mind, this gain them a long life sense of self improvement. If people learn something and they are active, surely they will be less stressed even during the work time, because they will have the sense to obtain something from their free time.
Possible spelling mistake found.
It&
#039; s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, to develop the social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, take a break from the work or from the study and, maybe, to develop new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and to maintain the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
active
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
simply
rest, others are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
active
during their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. In my opinion, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits of relaxing activities, is far better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
rather
than
simply
doing nothing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can boost the
overall
quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, reducing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.

The typical workplace is an
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced place, where the employees are
constantly
under pressure:
usually
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with strict deadlines, impolite bosses or colleagues and poor salaries. This lifestyle is
undoubtedly
unhealthy, both for the body and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Possible spelling mistake found.
it&
#039; s
perfectly
fine to take a break from this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, slow down the rhythm and
simply
enjoy
A determiner cannot combine with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply "our empty" or "the empty"?
the our empty
moments.

On the other hand
, others believe that to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
well our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is a waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Time
is too precious to
be wasted
, and we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it for activities that can elevate us in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
way, such as reading, playing chess, or practice sports. This is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
active
way to spend the leisure, in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
relax,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
actively
learn something new and develop new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

To conclude
, I
strongly
support the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
active
way to spend the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can maintain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
active
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
, this gain them a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
sense of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self improvement
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
learn
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
something and
they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
active
,
surely
they will be less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
even during the work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will have the sense to obtain something from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activity that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts