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Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time v.8

Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time v. 8
It is generally accepted that we all need leisure time to recover from the stresses of work and everyday life. Personally, I prefer to be active during this time, as I think this suits me better. However, what we do with our leisure time is up to us and no one can say that any particular activity is the best. Some people relax by watching movies, reading or surfing the internet. People who have physically demanding jobs may choose these types of activities. If you are a nurse or builder, you may feel that you don't want to do a five-kilometre run after work, because you are already physically tired. Other people do very sedentary jobs. Computer analysts, for example, may spend all day sitting in front of a computer screen. At the end of the working day, they may be keen to stretch their limbs and improve their health by swimming or going to the gym. Another factor that influences our choice of leisure pursuit is where we work. People who work indoors often prefer outdoor hobbies, whereas for people who work outdoors, the reverse may be true. I am a student myself and this involves a lot of sitting in lectures, so I need to get out into the fresh air afterwards. In any situation, the important thing is that people need to stay healthy by choosing what is best for them. The only wrong way to spend free time, in my view, is to have a sedentary job and then go home and watch television.
It is
generally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
that we all need leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to recover from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stresses
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and everyday life.

Personally
, I prefer to be active during this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, as I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this suits me better.
However
, what we do with our leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is up to us and no one can say that any particular activity is the best.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
relax by watching movies, reading or surfing the internet.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who have
physically
demanding jobs may choose these types of activities. If you are a nurse or builder, you may feel that you don't want to do a
Possible spelling mistake found.
five-kilometre
run after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you are already
physically
tired.

Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
sedentary jobs. Computer analysts,
for example
, may spend all day sitting in front of a computer screen. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the working day, they may be keen to stretch their limbs and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their health by swimming or going to the gym.

Another factor that influences our choice of leisure pursuit is where we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
indoors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
prefer outdoor hobbies, whereas for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
outdoors, the reverse may be true. I am a student myself and this involves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
sitting in lectures,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out into the fresh air afterwards.

In any situation, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to stay healthy by choosing what is best for them. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
way to spend free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, in my view, is to have a sedentary job and then go home and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
television.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time v. 8

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
258 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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