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Some people think that it is better to travel as part of a tour group when theyare visiting foreign country. Other people prefer to make their own travel plans sothat they can independently. Which approach do you think is better and why? v.1

Some people think that it is better to travel as part of a tour group when theyare visiting foreign country. Other people prefer to make their own travel plans sothat they can independently. Which approach do you think is better and why? v. 1
Industries and building sector have led to a growing issue with the decline in the quality of air and water in a lot of developing nations. These challenges can be solved by enacting and implementing laws and focusing on sources of energy that do not harm the atmosphere, but, still provide energy to power our economies. On the one hand, as far as improving the quality of water is concerned, solutions such as stricter guidelines and laws would play a major role in helping curb this problem. In other words, there should be stringent implementation of rules on proper disposal of industrial waste into waterways, since they are the major source of water pollution. If construction and major corporations do not follow these laws, hefty penalties should be imposed, so that it sets a precedent and deters others from doing the same. They should be forced to implement proper treatment of chemical and other waste, before it is discharged, thus helping improve the health of water bodies and consequently the eco-system depends on it. On the other hand, to improve the quality of air and tackle the negative impact of industries and building sector on it, focus and emphasis should be placed on alternative energy use and reduction of harmful emissions into the atmosphere. The current proliferation of the use of fossil fuels has to be curtailed and aggressively implement switching to alternate sources of energy such as solar, wind and fuel cells, since these sources are environmentally friendly and sustainable, as such, will help reverse the detrimental impact of greenhouse gasses on earths atmosphere and restore the quality of air. Furthermore, stricter emissions protocols for industries and construction should be implemented and enforced, so that they use technology to limit the content of emissions to a safe level and thus benefiting the air quality. In conclusion, the challenges faced by the reduction of quality of air and water can be resolved by a combination of laws and guidelines along with a focus on renewable sources of power and reducing the dependence on traditional sources.
Industries and building sector have led to a growing issue with the decline in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
developing nations. These challenges can
be solved
by enacting and implementing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
and focusing on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
that do not harm the atmosphere,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
,
still
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
to power our economies.

On the one hand, as far as improving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is concerned
, solutions such as stricter guidelines and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
would play a major role in helping curb this problem. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, there should be stringent implementation of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
on proper disposal of industrial waste into waterways, since they are the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
pollution. If construction and major corporations do not follow these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
, hefty penalties should
be imposed
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it sets a precedent and deters others from doing the same. They should
be forced
to implement proper treatment of chemical and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
waste,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it
is discharged
,
thus
helping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the health of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
bodies and
consequently
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
eco-system
depends on it.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
and tackle the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact of industries and building sector on it, focus and emphasis should
be placed
on alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and reduction of harmful emissions into the atmosphere. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
proliferation of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of fossil fuels
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be curtailed
and
aggressively
implement switching to alternate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
such as solar, wind and fuel cells, since these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
are
environmentally
friendly and sustainable, as such, will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
reverse the detrimental impact of greenhouse gasses on earths atmosphere and restore the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
.
Furthermore
, stricter emissions protocols for industries and construction should
be implemented
and enforced,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
technology to limit the content of emissions to a safe level and
thus
benefiting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
quality.

In conclusion
, the challenges faced by the reduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
can
be resolved
by a combination of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
and guidelines along with a focus on renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of power and reducing the dependence on traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that it is better to travel as part of a tour group when theyare visiting foreign country. Other people prefer to make their own travel plans sothat they can independently. Which approach do you think is better and why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
7.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Some people think that it is better to travel as part of a tour group when theyare visiting foreign country. Other people prefer to make their own travel plans sothat they can independently. Which approach do you think is better and why? v.1