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For school children, their teachers have more influence on their intelligence and social development than their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

For school children, their teachers have more influence on their intelligence and social development than their parents. v. 5
Today, there are different concerns in human life. One of them is about the influence of teachers on children’s intelligence and social development. Some people believe that for school children, teachers have more inspiration than their parents. In my view, I partly agree with the view given. My essay will explain some main reasons for the idea given. On the one hand, there are some important reasons against the idea that teachers have more impact on childrean than their parents. One main argument would be that parents normally know their kids better than anyone else so they can choose a suitable envinronment for children to develop their intelligence and socializing skills. For instance, if parents see that their child has a natural talent for painting, they can send their children to gifted schools instead of other schools. Another argument is that parents are those who supply a child with their first oppotunities to develop a relationship, communicate and interact with their friends. This also affects influence and social development of children. On the other hand, there are some main reasons why the teachers may have more influence on the intelligence of their pupils is supported. Firstly, teachers are formally trained to help children develop their intelligence using a modern approach. Therefore, children can acquire knowledge and develop soft skills through social activities. For example, children can a work in groups to develop teamwork, collaboration skills and especially problem-solving skills. Secondly, a school is far better than a home when social encounters are considered. Going to school, children have chances to interact with their teachers, their friends and others people, thereby easilly building up and expanding their social relationships. A school is like a small society. In conclusion, for the reasons mentioned above – knowledge, skills and social encounters, it is certain that parents cannot be compared with school teachers when it comes to the development of children’s smartness and social relationship.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
concerns in human life. One of them is about the influence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
development.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
have more inspiration than their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. In my view, I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the view
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
. My essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
against the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
have more impact on
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrean
than their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. One main argument would be that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
normally
know their kids better than anyone else
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can choose a suitable
Possible spelling mistake found.
envinronment
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develop
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
and socializing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
For instance
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that their child has a natural talent for painting, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to gifted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
instead
of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. Another argument is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are those who supply a child with their
first
Possible spelling mistake found.
oppotunities
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develop
a relationship, communicate and interact with their friends. This
also
affects influence and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
development of children.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
may have more influence on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
of their pupils
is supported
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are
formally
trained to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develop
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
using a modern approach.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can acquire knowledge and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develop
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
activities.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can a work in groups to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develop
teamwork, collaboration
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and
especially
problem-solving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
Secondly
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is far better than a home when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
encounters
are considered
. Going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have chances to interact with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
, their friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, thereby
Possible spelling mistake found.
easilly
building up and expanding their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
relationships. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is like a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
society.

In conclusion
, for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
mentioned above
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
knowledge,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
encounters, it is certain that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
cannot
be compared
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
smartness and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
relationship.
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You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay For school children, their teachers have more influence on their intelligence and social development than their parents.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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