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Some people think that it is beneficial for old people to learn something new while others believe that once a person in the past 65 years of age it is too late to learn. What is your opinion? v.1

Some people think that it is beneficial for old people to learn something new while others believe that once a person in the past 65 years of age it is too late to learn. What is your opinion? v. 1
There is no doubt that one can learn at any age of life. There is no such limit for learning. Some people believe that old people do learn new things. However, others argue the age limit. In my opinion, learning is beneficial at any age, it gives a personal experience and knowledge. To begin with, some people believe that after 65 years of age people can not learn and also it is too late. Some specific tasks required a specific time period, age limit and skills. For example, for higher studies let say CA. For this, specific time and age required. For this reason, some tasks are specifically designed for a certain time of period. On the other hand, some people believe that old people can learn new things and it will be helpful for them. For instance, with the growing technology and excessive usage of smartphones. The old people can easily learn how to operate the smartphone, there is no such rocket science to understand the usage of the phone. Furthermore, as they use the more they will reveal more features and will feel entertained. To sum up, learning new things keeps the mind fresh and helps to remain active and enthusiastic. When it comes to old age people, they can also learn things according to their skills and capacity. By doing this, they always ready to learn new things and feel busy.
There is no doubt that one can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
at any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of life. There is no such limit for learning.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things.
However
, others argue the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
limit. In my opinion, learning is beneficial at any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, it gives a personal experience and knowledge.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that after 65 years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
and
also
it is too late.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
specific tasks required a specific time period,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
limit and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For example
, for higher studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
say CA. For this, specific time and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
required.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
For
this reason,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
tasks are
specifically
designed for a certain time of period.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things and it will be helpful for them.
For instance
, with the growing technology and excessive usage of smartphones. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
easily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
how to operate the smartphone, there is no such rocket science to understand the usage of the phone.
Furthermore
, as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the more they will reveal more features and will feel entertained.

To sum up, learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
the mind fresh and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to remain active and enthusiastic. When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, they can
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
things according to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and capacity. By doing this, they always ready to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things and feel busy.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Some people think that it is beneficial for old people to learn something new while others believe that once a person in the past 65 years of age it is too late to learn. What is your opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
234 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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