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Many people believe in the idea of school children wearing a school uniform, but should teachers as well be required to conform to a dress code? v.2

Many people believe in the idea of school children wearing a school uniform, but should teachers as well be required to conform to a dress code? v. 2
Many divergent views exist on imposing mandatory rules on teachers' dress code at school. A great number of people, including myself, are of the opinion that as the teachers dress code dress code should be required to wear the equal dress code. In this essay, I will explain the rationale of my viewpoint on the matter. The primary reason to apply a dress code policy for teacher is that it can provide encouragement to students. It stands to reason that many students and parents argue against equal dress code for pupils. But this teacher's example will motivate these students and their parents about the positive outcomes of having a same dress code among the students. I am hardly alone in this view, and some empirical evidence can be provided to support it. A 2007 survey, for instance, conducted by a team of researchers at the University of Toronto found that 90% of Ontario's public school were able to convey those students to wear the uniform after implementation of the teachers' dress code. Not only will it provide constant encouragement to students, but it will also display an equality between different professors at the school. It goes without saying that some teachers wear expensive jewellery and branded clothes to set their presence apart from different teachers. This could create a negative impression between school teachers because those who wear costly brands might be more favourable to students than those teachers who come from poor background. My school teacher, Ben, is a shining example of this. He came from improvised background when he joined the school, so students used to make a fun on him because of his inexpensive clothes. After that he was forced to spend an enormous amount of money just to get attention of every student in his class. To sum up, I hold to the opinion that school uniform practice for teachers should be implemented as I will provide motivation for students and create unity among the teachers at school.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
divergent views exist on imposing mandatory
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
on teachers'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
code at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. A great number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, including myself, are of the opinion that as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
code
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
code should
be required
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
the equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
code. In this essay, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the rationale of my viewpoint on the matter.

The primary reason to apply a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
code policy for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
is that it can provide encouragement to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. It stands to reason that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and parents argue against equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
code for pupils.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
this teacher's example will motivate these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and their parents about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcomes of having a same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
code among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. I am hardly alone in this view, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
empirical evidence can
be provided
to support it. A 2007 survey,
for instance
, conducted by a team of researchers at the University of Toronto found that 90% of Ontario's public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
were able to convey those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
the uniform after implementation of the teachers'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
code.

Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
will it provide constant encouragement to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it will
also
display an equality between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
professors at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. It goes without saying that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
expensive
Possible spelling mistake. 'jewellery' is British English.
jewellery
and branded clothes to set their presence apart from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. This could create a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impression between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
those who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
costly brands might be more
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
than those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from poor background. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
, Ben, is a shining example of this. He came from improvised background when he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a fun on him
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of his inexpensive clothes.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
that he
was forced
to spend an enormous amount of money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
attention of every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
in his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.

To sum up, I hold to the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
uniform practice for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
should
be implemented
as I will provide motivation for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and create unity among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
39Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Many people believe in the idea of school children wearing a school uniform, but should teachers as well be required to conform to a dress code? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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