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Some people think that it is a good idea to give children a small amount of money each week to spend on what they would like. Other people think that this is wrong and that it is a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.2

Some people think that it is a good idea to give children a small amount of money each week to spend on what they would like. Other people think that this is wrong and that it is a waste of money. v. 2
The pocket money for children has always been a topic of argument between parents, all over the world. Some support this idea by saying it teaches financial aspects, and others find it wastage of money. My thoughts are with the first part of the above said statement. Furthermore, this essay will discuss both aspects of the topic. On one hand, parents want their children to learn financial independence at an early stage of their life. Eventually, they start giving them some money which could be spent on anything of their liking. For instance, parent allotting a weekly budget to their children want them to spend it or save it as per their requirements. Thus, the children do not need to always ask money from their parents and make them self-dependent because of the money, they own now. On the other hand, since, a child do not have very mature mind and can start wasting money on some bad habits, such as eating junk food or smoking. Thus, the easy access to money can turn into their downfall. One very popular example is, the rich people's children, who fall prey to bad habits just because of the handful of money they have in their pockets. In my view, parents should provide a chunk of money after analysing their needs, and they need to monitor it properly to keep them away from bad companies. Moreover, it is to teach them a monetary value of different products in their life. In conclusion, a coin has two different sides, similarly, this model of allowing children weekly budget has its own pros, like learning about the finances, and cons as wastage of money. However, the monitored approach makes it very successful in the long term.
The pocket
money
for
children
has always been a topic of argument between
parents
, all over the world.
Some
support this
idea
by saying it teaches financial aspects,
and others
find it wastage of
money
. My thoughts are with the
first
part of the above said statement.
Furthermore
, this essay will discuss both aspects of the topic.

On one hand,
parents
want their
children
to learn financial independence at an early stage of their life.
Eventually
, they
start
giving them
some
money
which could
be spent
on anything of their liking.
For instance
,
parent
allotting a weekly budget to their
children
want them to spend it or save it as per their requirements.
Thus
, the
children
do not need to always ask
money
from their
parents
and
make
them self-dependent
because
of the
money
, they
own
now
.

On the other hand
, since, a child do not have
very
mature mind and can
start
wasting
money
on
some
bad
habits, such as eating junk food or smoking.
Thus
, the easy access to
money
can turn into their downfall. One
very
popular example is, the rich
people
's
children
, who fall prey to
bad
habits
just
because
of the handful of
money
they have in their pockets.

In my view,
parents
should provide a chunk of
money
after
analysing
their needs, and they need to monitor it
properly
to
keep
them away from
bad
companies
.
Moreover
, it is to teach them a monetary value of
different
products in their life.

In conclusion
, a coin has two
different
sides,
similarly
, this model of allowing
children
weekly budget has its
own
pros, like learning about the finances, and cons as wastage of
money
.
However
, the monitored approach
makes
it
very
successful in the long term.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people think that it is a good idea to give children a small amount of money each week to spend on what they would like. Other people think that this is wrong and that it is a waste of money. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
290 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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