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Some people think that international competitive sports such as football bring conflict between people of different age groups and nationalities Others think sport is helping reach understanding between people and nations Discuss both views and give your v.1

Some people think that international competitive sports such as football bring conflict between people of different age groups and nationalities Others think sport is helping reach understanding between people and nations 1
It is believed that usage of laptops at a young age would be beneficial. For many people, most of the time spend on technologies. However, there are both pros and cons deciding to do this. In this essay, I will discuss some of the reasons that why working on machineries increase the skills and some of the challenges to be overcome. Further on, I give my opinion. Let's begin by looking at the advantages of spending most of the duration on screen for early ages. One of the main positives of this it develops the sense of usage of technological devices, which is contemporary need. What is it meant that, it helps to finish the task of school assignments. For instance, give information about the latest research. This makes horizon more broaden. Secondly, the other advantage would be children do not get enough time to involve in any wrong activity. Take the example of playing online games or reading e-book. In addition, it gives peace of mind to the parents. Turning to the other side of the argument the first disadvantage would be declining of writing skills. More precise, it decreases their comprehension skills. Let's use submission and working homework on laptop as an example. This leads to be more dependent on these devices. Another issue is that criminal group may trap innocent kids. In other words, younger leak out their personal information, hence this could be more damaging for themselves as well. All things considered, the benefits of spending long duration on gadgets. You need to weigh up the pros of this is that the younger are becoming high tech plus it does not make them vulnerable and the cons of this is that decreasing of ability to jot down anything in addition sometimes become a victim of cyber crime. Personally, I believe the favourable sides of this is that they are getting command of the arrival telecommunications and the chances of misconduct reduces, eventually outweigh the benefits.
It
is believed
that usage of laptops at a young age would be beneficial. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, most of the time spend on technologies.
However
, there are both pros and cons deciding to do this. In this essay, I will discuss
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
reasons that why working on
Possible spelling mistake found.
machineries
increase the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
challenges to
be overcome
.
Further
on, I give my opinion.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
by looking at the advantages of spending most of the duration on screen for early ages. One of the main positives of this it develops the sense of usage of technological devices, which is contemporary need. What is it meant that, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to finish the task of school assignments.
For instance
, give information about the latest research. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
horizon more broaden.
Secondly
, the other advantage would be children do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to involve in any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
activity. Take the example of playing online games or reading e-book.
In addition
, it gives peace of mind to the parents.

Turning to the other side of the argument the
first
disadvantage would be declining of writing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. More precise, it decreases their comprehension
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
submission and working homework on laptop as an example. This leads to be more dependent on these devices. Another issue is that criminal group may trap innocent kids.
In other words
, younger leak out their personal information,
hence
this could be more damaging for themselves
as well
.

All things considered, the benefits of spending long duration on gadgets. You need to weigh up the pros of this is that the younger are becoming high tech plus it does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them vulnerable and the cons of this is that decreasing of ability to jot down anything
in addition
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
become a victim of cyber crime.
Personally
, I believe the
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
sides of this is that they are getting command of the arrival telecommunications and the chances of misconduct
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
,
eventually
outweigh the benefits.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay Some people think that international competitive sports such as football bring conflict between people of different age groups and nationalities Others think sport is helping reach understanding between people and nations 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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