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Some people think that intelligence is innate while others think that we can improve our intelligence through learning. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.6

Some people think that intelligence is innate while others think that we can improve our intelligence through learning. v. 6
Intelligence is one of the most controversial areas of debate these days. Many people believe that it can only be inherited. On the contrary, some people believe that it can be acquired through learning. I believe that it is both innate and learnt. There are certainly some innate aspects of intelligence. That explains why children taught in the same class acquire different grades. People with the view of intelligence being inherited often give the argument that the nature and IQ of a person is dependent on the DNA which comes from parents. As an example, Albert Einstein, world's most celebrated physicist, had an excellent IQ and did some wonderful innovations. His son also inherited these qualities and had a very high IQ. Hence, it can be said that it is innate. On the other hand, having smart ancestors is not the only way to be smart. One can achieve any milestone in this world with passion, hard work and a positive attitude. For example, a smart student may finish a tough assignment easily, but a mediocre student can also finish the assignment by hard work and passion. If the inheritance was the only way, then this world would have been divided into intelligent and dull people. No child of farmer would have become a scientist. For instance, Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam, son of a poor farmer, fought all the odds became a renowned scientist. To conclude, after analysing both sides of the argument, it is not hard to see that the intellect is both innate and acquired. All of us are born with certain levels of intellect. There are good chances that children of smart ancestors will be smart, but a child can acquire intelligence irrespective of having intelligent parents or having parents with mediocre IQ.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Intelligence
is one of the most controversial areas of debate these days.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be inherited
.
On the contrary
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it can
be acquired
through learning. I believe that it is both innate and
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
.

There are
certainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
innate aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
. That
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
why children taught in the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
acquire
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
grades.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
with the view of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
being inherited
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
give the argument that the nature and IQ of a person is dependent on the DNA which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from parents. As an example, Albert Einstein, world's most celebrated physicist, had an excellent IQ and did
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
wonderful innovations. His son
also
inherited these qualities and had a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high IQ.
Hence
, it can
be said
that it is innate.

On the other hand
, having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
ancestors is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
. One can achieve any milestone in this world with passion,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work and a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
attitude.
For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
student may finish a tough assignment
easily
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a mediocre student can
also
finish the assignment by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work and passion. If the inheritance was the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way, then this world would have
been divided
into intelligent and dull
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. No child of farmer would have become a scientist.
For instance
, Dr. APJ Abdul
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kalam
, son of a poor farmer, fought all the odds became a renowned scientist.

To conclude
, after
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
both sides of the argument, it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the intellect is both innate and acquired. All of us
are born
with certain levels of intellect. There are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
chances that children of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
ancestors will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a child can acquire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
irrespective of having intelligent parents or having parents with mediocre IQ.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that intelligence is innate while others think that we can improve our intelligence through learning. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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