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Some people think that intelligence is innate while others think that we can improve our intelligence through learning. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.4

Some people think that intelligence is innate while others think that we can improve our intelligence through learning. v. 4
Not surprisingly, recent people's lives rooted in the educational system. Consequently, some people claim that we can boost our intelligence through learning is innated by intelligence. I partly agreed with this concept, in addition, some main aspects of this sphere are beyond the scope of following paragraphs. If we focus on genetic intelligence subsequent information are that, genetic have been passed by parents such as character, personality traits and other aspects. Occasionally genetic intelligence gives to youth, which parents have perspective movements form own brain. According to fact that many scientists and well-known people's genetic derived from ancestors for instance, Jack Mao and many Quins and Kings this information presented from history. In addition, in our modern area majority of populous investors are not wealthy. Resulting in this I give another intelligence viewpoint. Supposedly, globalization is a catchall term that refers improve own identify skills, namely modern era humanity considerable boom with achievement, acknowledgment and inventions. Consequent changes sparked controversy to daily life. In my conception, everyone should attempt own skills by hook or by crook, if people interested in own occupation. A glance at the fact that in major percentage of people achieve perspective scores without genetic intelligence. For example: Bill Gates, Jeremy Chiron and Uzbek ancestors are bright example. That's the way, researchers convinced that rather than genetic intelligence, inherently brilliant is a staircase of huge finishes. To conclude, some people feel that intelligence is innate while others frustrate we can improve our intelligence without genetic intelligence. In my opinion genetic acknowledgment is not a big role of knowledge seekers.
Not
surprisingly
, recent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
rooted in the educational system.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that we can boost our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
through learning is
Possible spelling mistake found.
innated
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
. I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
with this concept,
in addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
main aspects of this sphere are beyond the scope of following paragraphs.

If we focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genetic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
subsequent information are that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genetic
have
been passed
by parents such as character, personality traits and other aspects.
Occasionally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genetic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
gives to youth, which parents have perspective movements form
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
brain. According to fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
scientists and well-known
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genetic
derived from ancestors
for instance
, Jack Mao and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Quins and Kings this information presented from history.
In addition
, in our modern area majority of populous investors are not wealthy. Resulting in this I give another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
viewpoint.

Supposedly
, globalization is a catchall term that refers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
identify
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
namely
modern era humanity considerable boom with achievement, acknowledgment and inventions. Consequent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
sparked controversy to daily life. In my conception, everyone should attempt
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
by hook or by crook, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
interested in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
occupation. A glance at the fact that in major percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
achieve perspective scores without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genetic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
.
For example
: Bill Gates, Jeremy Chiron and Uzbek ancestors are bright example. That's the way, researchers convinced that
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genetic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
,
inherently
brilliant is a staircase of huge finishes.

To conclude
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
is innate while others frustrate we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genetic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
. In my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genetic
acknowledgment is not a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
role of knowledge seekers.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
A new language is a new life.
Persian Proverb

IELTS essay Some people think that intelligence is innate while others think that we can improve our intelligence through learning. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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