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Some people think that intelligence is innate while others think that we can improve our intelligence through learning. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.3

Some people think that intelligence is innate while others think that we can improve our intelligence through learning. v. 3
One of the highly controversial issues today relates to that of intelligence. While some people believe that intelligence is inherited, some others feel that intelligence can be acquired through learning. In this essay, I would shed some light on both these views and then give my opinion on the matter. On the one hand, intelligence is certainly innate. The main reason is that if parents are intelligent, children acquire the genes which lead to higher level of intelligence in children. For example, the IQ level of Albert Einstein, one of the most celebrated physicists in the world was very high. Similarly, his son also had a shockingly high level of IQ. Thus, it can be seen how intelligence can be acquired as a parental gift. On the other hand, while intelligence is innate, it does not mean that intelligence cannot be gained. If a person has passion and a pure desire he can achieve whatever he wants including intelligence. Hard work, dedication, and learning are the building blocks that help people acquire intelligence. For example, a bright student can accomplish a complicated task very quickly. However, a dull student can put in more hours of learning to accomplish the same task too. Therefore, it goes without saying that this viewpoint is credible and realistic. Intelligence has a great role in every aspect of life. This essay discussed the fact that intelligence is not only inherited, but can also be improved or acquired through effort and learning. In my opinion, intelligence can be gained through motivation and learning.
One of the
highly
controversial issues
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
relates to that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
is inherited
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
can
be acquired
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
. In this essay, I would shed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light on both these views and then give my opinion on the matter.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
is
certainly
innate. The main reason is that if parents are intelligent, children acquire the genes which lead to higher level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
in children.
For example
, the IQ level of Albert Einstein, one of the most celebrated physicists in the world was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high.
Similarly
, his son
also
had a
shockingly
high level of IQ.
Thus
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
can
be acquired
as a parental gift.

On the other hand
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
is innate, it does not mean that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
cannot
be gained
. If a person has passion and a pure desire he can achieve whatever he wants including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Hard
work, dedication, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
are the building blocks that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
acquire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
.
For example
, a bright student can accomplish a complicated task
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
quickly
.
However
, a dull student can put in more hours of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
to accomplish the same task too.
Therefore
, it goes without saying that this viewpoint is credible and realistic.

Intelligence has a great role in every aspect of life. This essay discussed the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
inherited,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
can
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
or acquired through effort and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
can
be gained
through motivation and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Some people think that intelligence is innate while others think that we can improve our intelligence through learning. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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