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Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.23

Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. v. 23
In this modern world, it is argued by some politicians and authorities that climate change has been occurring for many years that is the reason why the governments should provide a solution to live in a way rather than some precautions. I partially agree with that statement and I believe that while people adapt to living with climate change and global warming, countries have to show their effort as much as possible to decrease the increasing trend of temperature. First of all, since the beginning of the Industrial Revolution, hazardous gases and wastewaters have been released by factories to nature. Moreover, it firstly has been caused global warming, then climate change. This harmful situation affected not only human beings but also all the species around the world. To save wildlife and diversity of species, governments should publish a law to ensure the nature will be protected. For instance, if biodiversity changes, all the food production and people’s nutritional behaviour will change too. Furthermore, oceans and inner sea's temperature have increased by years. For instance, while a person who lives in Greenland was not able to swim in the 1970s due to icebergs, now Greenland has become a tourist destination with its beaches. How do not people protest climate changes after witnessing that undesirable situation? On the other hand, whereas governments and individuals have been showing their effort to save the environment, it is clearly seen that the average temperature of the world has been increasing constantly. Additionally, almost all countries spend a huge amount of money every year in order to protect nature. In contrast, if they invest in the health care system, infrastructures of big cities and most importantly, innovation of agriculture, it would be more beneficial not only for governments financially but also for citizens. Furthermore, as per an academic article published by the World Bank says that whereas the total budget of the countries which fight to prevent climate changes is 450 Billion USD, the effect of the human factor is only 5% to prevent increasing heat. In conclusion, in the light of information given above, climate change is an undeniable fact. Every human being will face this critical issue. Personally, I think that the governments and individuals should not stop their efforts, but at the same time, peoples have to be aware that this problem will never be fixed and that is the reason why everyone has to find a way to live with this reality.
In this modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, it
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
politicians and authorities that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
has been occurring for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years
that is
the reason why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should provide a solution to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a way
rather
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
precautions. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that statement and I believe that while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
adapt to living with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
and global warming, countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their effort as much as possible to decrease the increasing trend of temperature.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, since the beginning of the Industrial Revolution, hazardous gases and
Possible spelling mistake found.
wastewaters
have
been released
by factories to nature.
Moreover
, it
firstly
has
been caused
global warming, then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
. This harmful situation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
human beings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
all the species around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. To save wildlife and diversity of species,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should publish a law to ensure the nature will
be protected
.
For instance
, if biodiversity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
, all the food production and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
nutritional
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
too.
Furthermore
, oceans and inner sea's temperature have increased by years.
For instance
, while a person who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in Greenland was not able to swim in the 1970s due to icebergs,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
Greenland has become a tourist destination with its beaches. How do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
protest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
after witnessing that undesirable situation?

On the other hand
, whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and individuals have been showing their effort to save the environment, it is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the average temperature of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
has been increasing
constantly
.
Additionally
, almost all countries spend a huge amount of money every year in order to protect nature.
In contrast
, if they invest in the health care system, infrastructures of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities and most
importantly
, innovation of agriculture, it would be more beneficial not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
financially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for citizens.
Furthermore
, as per an academic article published by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
Bank says that whereas the total budget of the countries which fight to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
is 450 Billion USD, the effect of the human factor is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
5% to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
increasing heat.

In conclusion
, in the light of information
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
above,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
is an undeniable fact. Every human being will face this critical issue.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and individuals should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
their efforts,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the same time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be aware that this problem will never be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
and
that is
the reason why everyone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
find a way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with this reality.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. v. 23

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
410 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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