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Some people think that video games are advantageous, while others believe video games are harmful to the people who play them. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people think that video games are advantageous, while others believe video games are harmful to the people who play them. v. 2
In a recent scenario, there has been a hotly debated issue that whether the visual games are positive or negative for adolescents. Therefore, some people stated that it has an adverse impact on the teenager. Whereas, remaining masses of the society think that it's a benefit for them. However, both the views have their own advantage and disadvantages. Hence, before commenting on my viewpoint both the ideas would be discussed further. Discussing the advantage of televised games, the first and foremost one that the supporters would put forward is that, telecasted games are enhance the problem solving skills of the children. In other words, there are a variety of stages and tasks are available in the games which would be done by the player, it is not an easy task for them. Hence, by this they learn how to clear it and how to solve the passer. In addition, it will also improve the intellectual capability of the children. To demonstrate, there are enormous type of rules and regulation are available in a game, hence to reach a last stage or to win a game they have to follow the rules or learn them till the end. Consequently, these make a pressure on their mind and so mental ability is improving. Focusing on the later viewpoint some people think that it is a harmful for the children they commented that, it has an addictive device by which majority of teenagers are distracted from their studies. in other words, if they start playing a televised game, then they are addicted to this because of their graphics and tasks and no going back, as a result, they forgot their study or may be suffering from disease such as back pain or obesity. In India, for instance, one research on teenager claim that, approximately 45% children are losing their study and fight against sickness due to an excessive use of broadcast games. Thus, to conclude the discussion, it can be eventually stated that, although broadcast games have an adverse impact on children in their review, I believe that, it has more fruitful outcomes for them in order to enhance their mental skills as well as problem solving skills. Which is not only beneficial for them in academic examination, but also important for their future career.
In a recent scenario, there has been a
hotly
debated issue that whether the visual
games
are
positive
or
negative
for adolescents.
Therefore
,
some
people
stated that it has an adverse impact on the
teenager
. Whereas, remaining masses of the society
think
that it's a benefit for them.
However
, both the views have their
own
advantage and disadvantages.
Hence
,
before
commenting on my viewpoint both the
ideas
would
be discussed
further
.

Discussing the advantage of televised
games
, the
first
and foremost one that the supporters would put forward is that,
telecasted
games
are
enhance
the problem solving
skills
of the
children
.
In other words
, there are a variety of stages and tasks are available in the
games
which would
be done
by the player, it is not an easy task for them.
Hence
, by this they learn how to
clear
it and how to solve the passer.
In addition
, it will
also
improve
the intellectual capability of the
children
. To demonstrate, there are enormous type of
rules
and regulation are available in a game,
hence
to reach a last stage or to win a game they
have to
follow the
rules
or learn them till the
end
.
Consequently
, these
make
a pressure on their mind and
so
mental ability is improving.

Focusing on the later viewpoint
some
people
think
that it is a harmful for the
children
they commented that, it has an addictive device by which majority of
teenagers
are distracted
from their studies.
in
other words, if they
start
playing a televised game, then they
are addicted
to this
because
of their graphics and tasks and no going back,
as a result
, they forgot their study or may be suffering from disease such as back pain or obesity. In India,
for instance
, one research on
teenager
claim that, approximately 45%
children
are losing their study and fight against sickness due to an excessive
use
of broadcast games.

Thus
,
to conclude
the discussion, it can be
eventually
stated that, although broadcast
games
have an adverse impact on
children
in their review, I believe that, it has more fruitful outcomes for them in order to enhance their mental
skills
as well
as problem solving
skills
. Which is not
only
beneficial for them in academic examination,
but
also
important
for their future career.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that video games are advantageous, while others believe video games are harmful to the people who play them. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
382 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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