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The maintenance of public libraries is a waste of money because of computer technologies that have the same function. To what extent to you agree and disagree?

Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since computer technology can replace their functions. v. 6
Maintaining public libraries will waste money due to the same function from computer technologies to get information, but the other argues that this can help some region in the rural area. Wasting money for maintaining of public libraries has no benefit due to the computer technologies having same function, leading to lack of focus on the other aspects. This is because the authority maintain public libraries being assests due to a plethora information from those, whereas people can get many information from the Internet without they have to go to libraries. According to the CNN news, authority in Jakarta spend 100 millions to repair public libraries in there, but 85% students in there obtain their information regarding their homework from the school, gaining from the Internet because they can get various information everytime and everywhere they want, but if they want to search in the libraries they have to make some regulations with borrowing that books. However, despite computer technologies have the same function, but also these can help people to use the technologies, increasing their knowledge. It is because that countryside lacks of the Internet, so the government has to decide devoloping good facilities in the libraries. For instance, in Papua Indonesia, there are so difficult to gain the network so the Internet is so hard in there. The authorities in there deciding to waste money around 50 million to maintain the computer or the other books in the libraries, resulting children in there have to motivate learning with new items. In conclusion, getting information can gain in the public libraries with the computer technologies, while spending much money is one of the risk to do that. Can government make balance from these?
Maintaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries will waste
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
due to the same function from computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the other argues that this can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
region in the rural area.

Wasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for maintaining of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries has no benefit due to the computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
having same function, leading to lack of focus on the other aspects. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the authority maintain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries being
Possible spelling mistake found.
assests
due to a plethora
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
from those, whereas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
from the Internet without they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go to libraries. According to the CNN news, authority in Jakarta spend 100 millions to repair
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries in there,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
85% students in there obtain their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
regarding their homework from the school, gaining from the Internet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
Possible spelling mistake found.
everytime
and everywhere they want,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if they want to search in the libraries they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
regulations with borrowing that books.

However
, despite computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
have the same function,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
these can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
, increasing their knowledge. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that countryside lacks of the Internet,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
decide
Possible spelling mistake found.
devoloping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
facilities in the libraries.
For instance
, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Papua
Indonesia, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
difficult to gain the network
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the Internet is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
in there. The authorities in there deciding to waste
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
around 50 million to maintain the computer or the other books in the libraries, resulting children in there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
motivate learning with new items.

In conclusion
, getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
can gain in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries with the computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
, while spending much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is one of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
to do that. Can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
balance from these?
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IELTS essay The maintenance of public libraries is a waste of money because of computer technologies that have the same function.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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