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Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other while others think that people have become more independent Discuss both views and give your own opinion v.2

Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other while others think that people have become more independent 2
The nowadays trend of online shopping has increased drastically, which will lead to negative impact on all shops in town and cities. This essay agrees with the statement. Due to busy life people find it more convenient to shop from the online application, then by roaming around to buy stuffs. I intend to discuss my points in further paragraphs. The one of the predominant reasons behind online shopping is the current fast paced life. People are more busy with their routine and whenever they get free time they try to use it for chilling with their friends or family. Moreover, all required stuffs are available online in different applications and at much cheaper rate than shops and markets of the cities. For instance, in amazon application, person can buy anything, be it household thing, clothing, cosmetic products, decorative material and much more. It is more easy and convenient, buy one touch person can buy things and the product will be delivered at their home. On the other hand, Shops and Markets are the places where person can buy things immediately. Near every residential area there are many shops selling basic amenities like food items, milk product, grocery things, etc. So people can buy things whenever they want. But as online trend is increasing, the economy and sales of such markets is going down. Due to cheaper rates in applications, audience tends to buy more from the sites. To resolve such issues, many shops are joining the sites which delivery items as well as they are providing things at a lower rate. Which has directly or indirectly affected their market. In the conclusion, I would pen down, saying that, due to current lifestyles, people prefer buying from online than through shops in towns or cities, which will directly or indirectly affect the market one day.
The nowadays trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping has increased
drastically
, which will lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
in town and cities. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with the statement. Due to busy life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find it more convenient to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
application
, then by roaming around to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
stuffs. I intend to discuss my points in
further
paragraphs.

The one of the predominant reasons behind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
paced life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are more busy with their routine and whenever they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
free time they try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it for chilling with their friends or family.
Moreover
, all required stuffs are available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applications
and at much cheaper rate than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
and markets of the cities.
For instance
,
The usual collocation for "amazon" is "on". Did you mean "on amazon"?
in amazon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
application
, person can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
anything, be it household thing, clothing, cosmetic products, decorative material and much more. It is more easy and convenient,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
one touch person can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
things and the product will
be delivered
at their home.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Shops
and Markets are the places where person can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
things immediately. Near every residential area there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
selling basic amenities like food items, milk product, grocery things, etc.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
things whenever they want.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
trend is increasing, the economy and sales of such markets is going down. Due to cheaper rates in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applications
, audience tends to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
more from the sites. To resolve such issues,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
are joining the sites which delivery items
as well
as they are providing things at a lower rate. Which has
directly
or
indirectly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
their market.

In the conclusion, I would pen down, saying that, due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
lifestyles,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer buying from
Use "onliner" to make a comparison with this adjective.
online
than through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
in towns or cities, which will
directly
or
indirectly
affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
one day.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other while others think that people have become more independent 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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