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Most first-year students live on campus, and virtually all of them have one or more roommates. Living on campus has many advantages, with varying accommodations available through the Housing Office. On campus housing includes four apartment buildings and v.1

Most first-year students live on campus, and virtually all of them have one or more roommates. Living on campus has many advantages, with varying accommodations available through the Housing Office. On campus housing includes four apartment buildings and v. 1
Nowadays, people are living in a modern era where there are how much mouth-watering food are available and are consumed on a larger scale by everyone across the globe. Which in turn puts an adverse effect on people's health. So, a few believe that the government must take into account the responsibility of implementing the strict norms to improve the health quality of mankind by consuming nutritious food. Nevertheless, a few insist that it is the matter of the People's choice and it is people responsibility. According to me in my perception, the first point is the optimum choice. However, the essay will focus on both aspects equally with some logical examples and ideas before coming to the conclusion. This paragraph will throw some light on why the government must take responsibility for the health quality of citizens. To commence with, nowadays, people consume much unhealthy food and are being inclined towards Western cultures and their food. Which interns result in an increase in obesity, fat and many more. As a result, such consumption of meal brings new disease. So, to eradicate it the government must pass some strict norms. For example, many foodstuff cuisines in companies prepare their product in a frail way. So, the government should evolve a new mandatory check-up method for food products. There must be a limitation of ingredients in a commodity which are not beneficial for health. Eventually, such cuisine commodities must be rejected. Thus, food-making companies will be motivated more towards preparing good element foods. On the contrary, a few argue that it is not at all responsibility of the ministry to look after the foods which people eat. For example, as we live in a cutthroat competitive world. So, for daily survival, both, the family member husband and wife need to go for full-time work. Moreover, people need to do overtime work sometimes. Many times it happened that did not spare some time to prepare their food. Due to their busy schedule both, parents must be parents, So at that time people have to consume such kind of food. In the end, it depends on the situation of an individual. To put in a nutshell, I would like to say that, the government must take responsibility by imposing strict norms for the food companies to achieve good quality merchandise.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are living in a modern era where there are how much mouth-watering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
are available and
are consumed
on a larger scale by everyone across the globe.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
in turn puts an adverse effect on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, a few believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take into account the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
of implementing the strict norms to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
quality of mankind by consuming nutritious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Nevertheless
, a few insist that it is the matter of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
's choice and it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
in my perception, the
first
point is the optimum choice.
However
, the essay will focus on both aspects
equally
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
logical examples and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
coming to the conclusion.

This paragraph will throw
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light on why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
quality of citizens. To commence with, nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consume much unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and are
being inclined
towards Western cultures and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. Which interns result in an increase in obesity,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
As a result
, such consumption of meal brings new disease.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, to eradicate it the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
pass
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strict norms.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
foodstuff cuisines in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
prepare their product
Consider replacing "in a frail way" with the adverb for "frail"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a frail way
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should evolve a new mandatory
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
-up method for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
products. There
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be a limitation of ingredients in a commodity which are not beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
Eventually
, such cuisine commodities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be rejected
.
Thus
, food-making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
will
be motivated
more towards preparing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
element foods.

On the contrary
, a few argue that it is not at all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
of the ministry to look after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
eat.
For example
, as we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a cutthroat competitive world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, for daily survival, both, the family member husband and wife need to go for full-time work.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to do overtime work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
times it happened that did not spare
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time to prepare their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. Due to their busy schedule both, parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be parents,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
at that time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
consume such kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, it depends on the situation of an individual.

To put in a nutshell, I would like to say that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
by imposing strict norms for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to achieve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality merchandise.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay Most first-year students live on campus, and virtually all of them have one or more roommates. Living on campus has many advantages, with varying accommodations available through the Housing Office. On campus housing includes four apartment buildings and v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
387 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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