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Some people think that in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should make efforts in reducing environmental pollution and housing problems To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statements? v.3

Some people think that in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should make efforts in reducing environmental pollution and housing problems with this statements? v. 3
It is argued that the public administration should invest in promoting solutions to residential and ecological issues as a preventive strategy to some illnesses. I completely agree with this notion due to the following reasons. Improving the quality of housing avoids the direct contact with many bacteria and virus since private spaces create a barrier to contaminated air, which minimizes the risks of being contaminated as a consequence. For instance, studies have shown that the flu is more easily spread out among cohabiting communities than among single house neighbourhoods, where habitants have restrict physical contact with others. Additionally, a house offers a better protection to illnesses that are related to temperature variations due to warming and cooler systems, consequently, the time of exposition to extreme warm and cold weather is drastically reduced. Furthermore, environmentally-friendly measures contribute to improve the general health because it improves the quality of air and water consumed by citizens; consequently, the statistics of lug sicknesses as well as diarrhoea are minimized. For example, while in the most polluted Brazilian city, São Paulo, thirty percent of diarrhoea and asthma issues have as the principal cause the pollution, in the countryside the number is reduced by twenty-five percent. Moreover, recycling waste can lead to a reduction in the population of rats and cockroaches that are carriers of countless illnesses, creating more sanitary and clean areas. To conclude, from my perspective, investing in fair houses and the environment is an effective form to prevent diseases. That is because besides creating a better protection to individuals, these investments would also improve the quantity of diseases in the environment.
It
is argued
that the public administration should invest in promoting solutions to residential and ecological issues as a preventive strategy to
some
illnesses. I completely
agree
with this notion due to the following reasons.

Improving the quality of housing avoids the direct contact with
many
bacteria and virus since private spaces create a barrier to contaminated air, which minimizes the
risks
of
being contaminated
as a consequence.
For instance
, studies have shown that the flu is more
easily
spread out among cohabiting communities than among single
house
neighbourhoods
, where habitants have
restrict
physical contact with others.
Additionally
, a
house
offers a better protection to illnesses that
are related
to temperature variations due to warming and cooler systems,
consequently
, the time of exposition to extreme warm and
cold
weather is
drastically
reduced
.

Furthermore
,
environmentally
-friendly measures contribute to
improve
the general health
because
it
improves
the quality of air and water consumed by citizens;
consequently
, the statistics of lug sicknesses
as well
as
diarrhoea
are minimized
.
For example
, while in the most polluted Brazilian city, São Paulo, thirty percent of
diarrhoea
and asthma issues have as the principal cause the pollution, in the countryside the number is
reduced
by twenty-five percent.
Moreover
, recycling waste can lead to a reduction in the population of rats and cockroaches that are carriers of countless illnesses, creating more sanitary and clean areas.

To conclude
, from my perspective, investing in
fair
houses
and the environment is an effective form to
prevent
diseases.
That is
because
besides
creating a better protection to individuals, these investments would
also
improve
the quantity of diseases in the environment.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should make efforts in reducing environmental pollution and housing problems with this statements? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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