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Some people think that spending a lot on holding wedding parties birthday parties and other celebrations is just a waste of money others, however, think that these are necessary for individuals and the society discuss both views and give your opinion. v.8

It is often thought by some that spending alot of money on ceremonial activities is not beneficial, however, others feel it is necessary to spending huge funds on parties. This essay agrees that spending money on birthday and wedding is not advantageous. To begin with, spending lots of money for celebrations is not of benefit to the general society. Those funds would rather be used to cater for the less privileged in the society and grant scholarship to brilliant students that wants to seek higher education and as such this would affect the individuals and general society. For instance, In 2019, I had to cut the budget spent on my 30th birthday by 75%, which was you in feeding the less privileged in a motherless home. On the other had, those opposed to this vehemently contend and agree that it is important to spend funds on ceremonial activities. There has been to proof to back the claim that spending money on birthdays and weddings is beneficial to the society. The rich would only invite the rich for parties and doesn’t affect the society in general Overall, spending plenty money on parties is not advantageous to the general society, funds realized from this could be used in catering for the poor in the society In conclusion, the use of money on parties is not beneficial, however, we should be wary that parties still form a social part of mankind. The benefits of spending a whole lot on ceremonial activist is not positive
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
Possible spelling mistake found.
alot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on ceremonial activities is not beneficial,
however
, others feel it is necessary to
Did you mean “spend”?
spending
huge funds on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on birthday and wedding is not advantageous.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for celebrations is not of benefit to the general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. Those funds would
rather
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to cater for the less privileged in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and grant scholarship to brilliant students that wants to seek higher education and as such this would affect the individuals and general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
For instance
, In 2019, I had to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
the budget spent on my 30th birthday by 75%, which was you in feeding the less privileged in a motherless home.

On the other had, those opposed to this
vehemently
contend and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to spend funds on ceremonial activities. There has been to proof to back the claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on birthdays and weddings is beneficial to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. The rich would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
invite the rich for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
and doesn’t affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
in
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
general


Overall
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
is not advantageous to the general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, funds realized from this could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in catering for the poor in the society

In conclusion
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
is not beneficial,
however
, we should be wary that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
still
form a social part of mankind. The benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
a
Consider using “lot”.
whole lot
on ceremonial activist is not
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
positive
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IELTS essay Some people think that spending a lot on holding wedding parties, birthday parties and other celebrations is just a waste of money. Others, however, think that these are necessary for individuals and the society. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
250 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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