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Some people think that history has nothing or little to tell us, but others think that studying the past can help us better understand the present. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people think that history has nothing or little to tell us, but others think that studying the past can help us better understand the present. v. 1
Despite history gives information about the past, a group of individuals believe that it did not provide any valuable knowledge, but others ponder over the opposite. Although it only explains about different Wars fought, in my opinion, humans can learn from past mistakes that our ancestors did. On the one hand, some people think that history has no importance in our lives because today is the era of science and technology, which is used in the day-to-day life of human beings. Whereas history only contains information about various dates on which wars were fought among kings. Thereby this knowledge is invaluable in life. For instance, to get a job, individuals must know about state-of-the-art technology instead of dates and places of the past. Therefore, learning it has no benefits, and it has un-useful information. On the other hand, other groups of people, including myself, believe that humans can learn from history by analyzing the mistakes that our ancestors did in their lives. It might not only help them in avoiding numerous conflicts among themselves, but also stops various wars. As a consequence, numerous losses can be avoided such as human lives, resources and finances. For example, in World War II, America bombarded Hiroshima and Nagasaki with nuclear bombs that destroyed two cities completely. Besides, after blasting bombs, the radiation level has increased significantly. Consequently, people are born with various deficiencies in these cities until today. Hence, it is apparent that these losses could be avoided by studying the past. To summarise, history briefs about the past so it has no use to study due to the use of technology in human life. However, according to me, people can learn from past mistakes to avoid conflicts as well as wars.
Despite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
gives information about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
, a group of individuals
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "believes"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'believe' is not always incorrect.)
believe
that it did not provide any valuable knowledge,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others ponder over the opposite. Although it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Wars
fought, in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
can learn from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
mistakes that our ancestors did.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
has no importance in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
is the era of science and technology, which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the day-to-day life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
contains information about various dates on which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wars
were fought
among kings. Thereby this knowledge is invaluable in life.
For instance
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job, individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
know about state-of-the-art technology
instead
of dates and places of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
.
Therefore
, learning it has no benefits, and it has
Possible spelling mistake found.
un-useful
information.

On the other hand
, other groups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, including myself, believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
can learn from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
by analyzing the mistakes that our ancestors did in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. It might not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in avoiding numerous conflicts among themselves,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stops
various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wars
. As a consequence, numerous losses can
be avoided
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, resources and finances.
For example
, in World
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
War
II, America bombarded Hiroshima and Nagasaki with nuclear bombs that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
two cities completely.
Besides
, after blasting bombs, the radiation level has increased
significantly
.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are born
with various deficiencies in these cities until
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
Hence
, it is apparent that these losses could
be avoided
by studying the past.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
briefs about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it has no
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
study due to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of technology in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
life.
However
, according to me,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can learn from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
mistakes to avoid conflicts
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wars
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Some people think that history has nothing or little to tell us, but others think that studying the past can help us better understand the present. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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