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Some people think that history has little or nothing to tell us but some people think that studying the past history can help us understand the present better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people think that history has little or nothing to tell us but some people think that studying the past history can help us understand the present better. v. 1
The importance of history study is quite debatable topic. Some people tend to study the past while some don't tend understand it. In the next passages we discuss both the views in detail and argue why knowing about our heritage is superior. Firstly, let us discuss about why learning about how we were brought up is not essential in today's world, which is running on sciences, engineering and business and there is no need to study about the hardships that our ancestors had gone through. Why does reading our past history is avoided? It is because they will not help us to earn a fortune. For example, if I know that during Krishna Devaraya realm diamonds were sold as if they were nuts, it won't help me to earn money and lead a living. On the contrary, learning about the difficulties faced and the achievements they have achieved lets us learn the origin of the culture, freedom and even the value of money. For instance, if we know the past of our own family and how hard they have worked to earn their living and the mistakes they have done to place us in a comfortable position, we will come to know the value of that position and interestingly it will also help us not to make the same mistakes which were done by them. To add to it, here is another example. If an individual completely knows the struggle of independence of India, he/she will not complain about the path followed by Gandhi to earn it but hail it. Everything we learn from the past helps us not to commit the same mistakes, even in science, engineering and business and also it helps us to value the lives we are living and strive for the excellence to a greater extent.
The importance of history study is quite debatable topic.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to study the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
don't tend understand it. In the
next
passages we discuss both the views in detail and argue why knowing about our heritage is superior.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
us
Did you mean simply "discuss why"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about why
learning about how we
were brought
up is not essential in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world, which is running on sciences, engineering and business and there is no need to study about the hardships that our ancestors had gone through. Why does reading our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
history
is avoided
? It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
a fortune.
For example
, if I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
that during Krishna
Possible spelling mistake found.
Devaraya
realm diamonds
were sold
as if they were nuts, it won't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
me to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
money and lead a living.

On the contrary
, learning about the difficulties faced and the achievements they have achieved
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lets
us learn the origin of the culture, freedom and even the value of money.
For instance
, if we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
family and how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
they have worked to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
their living and the mistakes they have done to place us in a comfortable position, we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
the value of that position and
interestingly
it will
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
us not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the same mistakes which
were done
by them. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to it, here is another example. If an individual completely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knows
the struggle of independence of India, he/she will not complain about the path followed by Gandhi to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
hail it.

Everything we learn from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
us not to commit the same mistakes, even in science, engineering and business and
also
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
us to value the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
we are living and strive for the excellence to a greater extent.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Some people think that history has little or nothing to tell us but some people think that studying the past history can help us understand the present better. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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