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Some people think that higher salary is important when choosing a company to work for while others think that good atmosphere at a workplace is more important Discuss both view points and give your own opinion v.2

Some people think that higher salary is important when choosing a company to work for while others think that good atmosphere at a workplace is more important 2
it is ubiquitously known that money is an utmost important requirement of human being in order to lead a perfect life, therefore, working with huge amount of income is acceptable among them. Whereas, others deny this fact and prefer to work in serene environment than that of getting higher salaries by indulging in unsuitable workplace. This essay shall elucidate both the perspectives in ensuing fragments along with my personal slant. According to the first school of thought, money makes the mare go, therefore, earning heavy chunks can fulfill their desires. By this I mean, due to the stiff competition among societies; everyone wants to earn more than others in order to lead luxurious lifestyle. Hence, atmosphere of workplace is not considered by such minds. Not only this but also there is no poverty ridden section which is even unable to earn livelihood. As such, work environment doesn' t matter for them. In such cases, wages are preferred and people are ready to do adventurous tasks even. As per the research by Dubey Business Department, 73% labour work is done by poor section with high salaries where type of work or ambience is not considered. However, some masses give preference to good atmosphere at workplaces since they are health conscious and believe that health matters more than money. To illustrate, such people are unable to complete a uphiill tasks. They, sometimes, have health issues and require suitable environment. In this matter, work ambience is preferred. What is more, a good atmosphere provides security and safety. To be more precise, most people, especially women seek for safe zone while doing jobs as they are more susceptible to be victim of henious crimes and have less physical strength. Resultantly, working conditions are pondered by females. To recapitulate, after analysing both the viewpoints I vehemently vouch that self contentment, safety and security, health and so on aspects are more important than income. Consequently, considering above factors is a wise idea of before indulging in a job and one should prefer to work with having completed rudimentary requirements, however, working merely for money is worthless.
it
is
ubiquitously
known that
money
is an utmost
important
requirement of human being in order to lead a perfect life,
therefore
, working with huge amount of income is acceptable among them. Whereas, others deny this fact and prefer to
work
in serene environment than that of getting higher salaries by indulging in unsuitable workplace. This essay shall elucidate both the perspectives in ensuing fragments along with my personal slant.

According to the
first
school of
thought
,
money
makes
the mare go,
therefore
, earning heavy chunks can fulfill their desires. By this I mean, due to the stiff competition among societies; everyone wants to earn more than others in order to lead luxurious lifestyle.
Hence
, atmosphere of workplace is not considered by such minds. Not
only
this
but
also
there is no poverty ridden section which is even unable to earn livelihood. As such,
work
environment
doesn&
#039; t matter for them. In such cases, wages
are preferred
and
people
are ready to do adventurous tasks even. As per the research by
Dubey
Business Department, 73%
labour
work
is done
by poor section with high salaries where type of
work
or ambience is not considered.

However
,
some
masses give preference to
good
atmosphere at workplaces since they are
health
conscious and believe that
health
matters more than
money
. To illustrate, such
people
are unable to complete
a
uphiill
tasks. They,
sometimes
, have
health
issues and require suitable environment. In this matter,
work
ambience
is preferred
.
What is more
, a
good
atmosphere provides security and safety. To be more precise, most
people
,
especially
women seek for safe zone while doing jobs as they are more susceptible to be victim of
henious
crimes and have less physical strength.
Resultantly
, working conditions
are pondered
by females.

To recapitulate, after
analysing
both the viewpoints I
vehemently
vouch that self contentment, safety and security,
health
and
so
on aspects are more
important
than income.
Consequently
, considering above factors is a wise
idea
of
before
indulging in a job and one should prefer to
work
with having completed rudimentary requirements,
however
, working
merely
for
money
is worthless.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that higher salary is important when choosing a company to work for while others think that good atmosphere at a workplace is more important 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
350 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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