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Some people think that high salary is important when choosing a company to work for, while others think that good working atmosphere is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.6

Some people think that high salary is important when choosing a company to work for, while others think that good working atmosphere is more important. v. 6
It is irrefutable that in past people give more preference to the quality of work rather than high salary as compare to nowadays. Therefore, majority of masses think that high salary is more important rather than good working atmosphere. While others opposite with this view. However, this easy will discuss both contradictory arguments and also present my own opinion in the conclusion. On one hand, people give more preference to high wages due to some reasons. Firstly, some person thinks it is difficult to complete own fundamental needs with low salary so they do not satisfied with little income. Secondly, many people feel better when they earn more because of their expensive needs. For instance, my uncle who is a doctor, his job is too much difficult but they feel better because they earn more money from this job. All in all, these are the reasons why so Plople thinks that the high earning is more important rather than the quality of the work. On the other hand, few masses believe that the good quality of peace work is more beneficial as compared to its salary. Moreover, people find it interesting to do such type of job which provide good atmosphere. Because they feel good when they doing nice work. Furthermore, if a person is interesting to do the job, then one can achieve goals through hard work and earn more due to promotions. For these reasons, it is evident that good type of work is necessary than high salary. In conclusion, although a few individuals give more importance to the high salary. But I would like to consider is that the quality of work is more important.
It is irrefutable that in past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
give more preference to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
as compare to nowadays.
Therefore
,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
masses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
working atmosphere.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
others opposite with this view.
However
, this easy will discuss both contradictory arguments and
also
present my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion in the conclusion.

On one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
give more preference to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
wages due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
it is difficult to complete
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
fundamental needs with low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they do not satisfied with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
income.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel better when they earn more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their expensive needs.
For instance
, my uncle who is a doctor, his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is too much difficult
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they feel better
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they earn more money from this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. All in all, these are the reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Possible spelling mistake found.
Plople
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
earning is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
rather
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of the work.

On the other hand
, few masses believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of peace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is more beneficial as compared to its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find it interesting to do such type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
atmosphere.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
when
Did you mean "they're doing", "they are doing", or "they were doing"?
they doing
nice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Furthermore
, if a person is interesting to do the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, then one can achieve goals through
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and earn more due to promotions. For these reasons, it is evident that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is
Use "(necessary)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
necessary
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
salary.

In conclusion
, although a few individuals give more importance to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I would like to consider is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that high salary is important when choosing a company to work for, while others think that good working atmosphere is more important. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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