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Some people think that everyone has the right to have access to university education and that the government should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion. v.1

Some people think that everyone has the right to have access to university education and that the government should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have. with this opinion. v. 1
It is considered by many that providing free university education to all students regardless of their financial condition is a crucial right of every student. However, I completely disagree with this viewpoint. In the following paragraphs I will discuss that free university education has a negative Impact on government and students. Firstly, if government continues providing higher education without imposing any fees, certain underdeveloped countries may face financial crisis in the long run. Governments need a large amount of money every year to run universities. A great amount of money they spend mostly on constructing new buildings, teachers' salary, research. To manage money, each year low income countries will have to depend on different sources such as NGO, World Bank. As a result, these nations often borrow money from that types of organisations on difficult terms and at high interest rate. Consequently, many states are likely to face bankruptcy. Secondly, Free higher education encourages parents to send their children to universities, which has a negative effect on their children in their later life. Almost all the students get admitted to university after they pass higher secondary level with a view to getting an admissible certificate. However, after completing their graduation, most of them do not get their desired jobs. In addition, government can not create enough jobs for a majority of fresh graduates. Therefore, certain graduates become disappointed and lose their hope, which stifles the progress of their country. For instance, Most Algerian universities are run by governments and students are required to pay a least amount of money. As a result, although the number of educated people has increased considerably, the unemployment rate is growing substantially. To conclude, despite the fact that free university education is essential for every student to secure a highly-paid job, it has certain drawbacks both on government and students.
It
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
regardless of their financial condition is a crucial right of every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
.
However
, I completely disagree with this viewpoint. In the following paragraphs I will discuss that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
Impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and students.

Firstly
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
continues providing higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
without imposing any fees, certain underdeveloped countries may face financial crisis in the long run.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
need a large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
every year to run
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
. A great amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
they spend
mostly
on constructing new buildings, teachers' salary, research. To manage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, each year low income countries will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
depend on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sources such as NGO, World Bank.
As a result
, these nations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
borrow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from that types of
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
on difficult terms and at high interest rate.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
states are likely to face bankruptcy.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Free
higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
encourages parents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their children to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
, which has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on their children in their later life. Almost all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
admitted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
after they pass higher secondary level with a view to getting an admissible certificate.
However
, after completing their graduation, most of them do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their desired jobs.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can not create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
jobs for a majority of fresh graduates.
Therefore
, certain graduates become disappointed and lose their hope, which stifles the progress of their country.
For instance
, Most Algerian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
are run
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are required
to pay
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
least amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
As a result
, although the number of educated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
has increased
considerably
, the unemployment rate is growing
substantially
.

To conclude
, despite the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is essential for every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to secure a
highly
-paid job, it has certain drawbacks both on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people think that everyone has the right to have access to university education and that the government should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have. with this opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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