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Some people think that government spending on the restoration of old buildings in cities should be stopped. Instead they should spend the money for housing and road development. To what extent do you agree? v.3

Some people think that government spending on the restoration of old buildings in cities should be stopped. Instead they should spend the money for housing and road development. v. 3
Some people would argue that the government should discontinue to fund the restoration of old buildings in their cities and re-allocate the budget for housing and road development. I disagree with this statement because there is a strong correlation between the two. This essay will first discuss how the government can earn more money from the restoration and then talk about the necessity of the development of housing and road. On the one hand, restoration of old buildings in cities is essential to preserve the cultural heritage from the past generation. These building store valuable information about the city, which is important for the younger generation to learn. Furthermore, revitalizing them can potentially result in additional incomes for the city administration from tourism. For example, the Amsterdam Central Station restoration was completed in 2009 and, as a result, the city has made it, not only functions as a rail station better, but is also attractive to tourists. In my opinion, restoring old buildings is worth investment. On the other hand, expanding roads and constructing more houses are needed to solve overcrowding and traffic jams issues. The government needs a huge amount of money and it would not be sufficient if it depends on taxes. As a solution, additional income is needed and one of potential source is tourism. For example, the government of Jakarta has completed the city ring roads because of additional funds obtained from tourism. In my opinion, there is a mutual relationship between preserving old buildings and expanding the city's infrastructures. In conclusion, the government should continue paying for the restoration of old buildings in cities beside housing and road development. In my opinion, both are important and there is a connection between them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would argue that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should discontinue to fund the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restoration
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and re-allocate the budget for housing and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
development. I disagree with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is a strong correlation between the two. This essay will
first
discuss how the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can earn more money from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restoration
and then talk about the necessity of the development of housing and road.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restoration
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is essential to preserve the cultural heritage from the past generation. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
store valuable information about the city, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the younger generation to learn.
Furthermore
, revitalizing them can
potentially
result in additional incomes for the city administration from tourism.
For example
, the Amsterdam Central Station
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restoration
was completed
in 2009 and,
as a result
, the city has made it, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
functions as a rail station better,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
is
also
attractive to tourists. In my opinion, restoring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
is worth investment.

On the other hand
, expanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
and constructing more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
are needed
to solve overcrowding and traffic jams issues. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
needs a huge amount of money and it would not be sufficient if it depends on taxes. As a solution, additional income
is needed
and one of potential source is tourism.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
of Jakarta has completed the city ring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of additional funds obtained from tourism. In my opinion, there is a mutual relationship between preserving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
and expanding the city's infrastructures.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should continue paying for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restoration
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
beside housing and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
development.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
my opinion, both are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and there is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
them.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Speak a new language so that the world will be a new world.
Rumi

IELTS essay Some people think that government spending on the restoration of old buildings in cities should be stopped. Instead they should spend the money for housing and road development. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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