Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that government should spend money on faster means of public transport. However, others think money should be spent on other priorities v.1

Some people think that government should spend money on faster means of public transport. However, others think money should be spent on other priorities v. 1
Obesity has always been a problem which we had to face. This fact has only proven right with the increase of fast food outlets. No matter what it is, the outlets do make a lot of money from our cravings. But what they do not tell us is the aftereffects of giving in to these cravings. Obesity is not to be taken lightly as it can have permanent consequences. One must take some really serious measures to reduce their weight and have fit and healthy for a longer and a happy life. There are certain factors which lead to obesity. Other than the aforementioned consumption of fast foods, the other major thing which causes this is the lack of exercise. Not a lot of us actually take the time out of our busy schedules to go for a jog or play some kind of sport. Another really big issue is the issue of the mindset. Myself included, we tend to procrastinate a lot when things are within our range of control. That comfort zone is very, comforting. It is not very healthy to lay on the bed, watch TV or sit in front of the computer all day long. Neither for the body, not for the eyes. Even with the problems mentioned above, there are certain ways people can overcome this problem. The simplest one is to stay away from fast foods and have them occasionally instead of having them frequently. One way is to go on a calorie deficit. What this means is to consume less food and exercise more, that leads to burning more fat and eventually losing weight. Exercising in the mornings has proven to be more effective as our stomach is empty, which means the body uses the fat reserves. The motivation problem can be overcome by tuning your mind to follow a workout routine. Maybe by rewarding yourself if you achieve a fitness goals. For example, The next time you run five kilometres, get yourself an ice cream. In conclusion, I would like to say that obesity might be a problem which will continue for the years to come. It is not a disease which can be eradicated by a vaccine. It is something a person has to really put in the effort and work towards to overcome it and actually lose weight. It is both a mental and a physical challenge, and I think the goal of reducing the cases of obesity will happen with a combined effort of individual goals put together.
Obesity has always been a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
which we had to face. This fact has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
proven right with the increase of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
outlets. No matter what it is, the outlets do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money from our cravings.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
what they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
us is the aftereffects of giving in to these cravings. Obesity is not to
be taken
lightly
as it can have permanent consequences. One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
really
serious measures to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their weight and have fit and healthy for a longer and a happy life.

There are certain factors which lead to obesity. Other than the aforementioned consumption of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
, the other major thing which causes this is the lack of exercise. Not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
us actually take the time out of our busy schedules to go for a jog or play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of sport. Another
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
issue is the issue of the mindset. Myself included, we tend to procrastinate a lot when things are within our range of control. That comfort zone is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
, comforting. It is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
healthy to lay on the bed,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV or sit in front of the computer all day long. Neither for the body, not for the eyes.

Even with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
mentioned above, there are certain ways
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can overcome this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. The simplest one is to stay away from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
and have them
occasionally
instead
of having them
frequently
. One way is to go on a calorie deficit. What this means is to consume less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and exercise more, that leads to burning more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and
eventually
losing weight. Exercising in the mornings has proven to be more effective as our stomach is empty, which means the body
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
reserves. The motivation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
can
be overcome
by tuning your mind to follow a workout routine. Maybe by rewarding yourself if you achieve a fitness goals.
For example
, The
next
time you run five
Possible spelling mistake. 'kilometres' is British English.
kilometres
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
yourself an ice cream.

In conclusion
, I would like to say that obesity might be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
which will continue for the years to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
. It is not a disease which can
be eradicated
by a vaccine. It is something a person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
really
put in the effort and work towards to overcome it and actually lose weight.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
It
is both a mental and a physical challenge, and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the goal of reducing the cases of obesity will happen with a combined effort of individual goals put together.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that government should spend money on faster means of public transport. However, others think money should be spent on other priorities v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
419 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts