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Some people think governments should spend money on faster means of transport. However, others think money should be spent on other priorities (e. g: environment, cost). Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people think governments should spend money on faster means of transport. However, others think money should be spent on other priorities (e. g: environment, cost). v. 1
It is a matter of concern that our environment which is the only reason of our existence has been going through a lot of crucial problems. Environmental problems can cause dangerous as well as catastrophic circumstances in the future, which may demolish our existence before it is too late to take essential steps. At present, degradation of the environment is the bitter truth which is hard to accept. In my opinion, it is necessary to solve this devastating problem globally. Environmental stability and world tranquility are correlated. The environment should be treated as it needs to be rather than the way people want it to be. There are major reasons because of which the environment has been collapsed and thus a lot of problems has occurred. In the present world, the advancement of technologies and lifestyles have been increasing. Therefore, industrialization has been growing up where many industries such as nuclear industry has been built to fulfil the needs of different sectors of developing countries as well as developing countries. These nuclear power plants have a huge negative impact on the environment. Though it can produce electric current as well as many resources of power in a cheaper way, the radiation come out from these plants can affect the environment vastly. Also, different kinds of pollutions have made the environment unbearable to stay. Since many natural calamities have been increasing, it is obligated to take essential steps. Developed and developing countries should reduce the uses of nuclear power. Awareness should be created among people to take care of the environment globally. Necessary treatments should be provided in the polluted areas around the world. Every country should use natural resources in a proper way. While some people think it should be dealt with nationally rather than globally. I like to state that the environmental issues are not national but global issues, because it is directly related to earth's existence. If we look at the recent Amazon rainforest fire, it had spread among different countries simultaneously and thus it needed to extinguish the fire with global help. Many countries around the world do not take much care of the environment because of the lack of awareness which has created a lot of calamities in different regions of the world. Because of this, natural assets of the earth in different countries can be destroyed. In conclusion, I support the idea of solving this problem globally as the environment belongs to not only a certain country but also to the whole world. And the consequences of environmental problems do have an impact on the existence of living beings. Thus, every country should be sincere about this issue.
It is a matter of concern that our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
which is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
reason of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
existence
has been going through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. Environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
can cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
as well
as catastrophic circumstances in the future, which may demolish our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
existence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it is too late to take essential steps. At present, degradation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
is the bitter truth which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to accept. In my opinion, it is necessary to solve this devastating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
globally.

Environmental stability and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
tranquility
are correlated
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
should
be treated
as it needs to be
rather
than the way
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want it to be. There are major reasons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
has
been collapsed
and
thus
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
has occurred. In the present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, the advancement of technologies and lifestyles have been increasing.
Therefore
, industrialization has been growing up where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
industries such as nuclear industry has
been built
to fulfil the needs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
sectors of developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
as well
as developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. These nuclear power plants have a huge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. Though it can produce electric
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
as well
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
resources of power in a cheaper way, the radiation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out from these plants can affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
vastly
.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
kinds of pollutions have made the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
unbearable to stay. Since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
natural calamities have been increasing, it
is obligated
to take essential steps. Developed and developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
of nuclear power. Awareness should
be created
among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to take care of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
globally. Necessary treatments should
be provided
in the polluted areas around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
natural resources
Consider replacing "in a proper way" with the adverb for "proper"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a proper way
.

“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it should
be dealt
with
nationally
rather
than globally. I like to state that the environmental issues are not national
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
global issues,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
directly
related to earth's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
existence
. If we look at the recent Amazon rainforest fire, it had spread among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
simultaneously
and
thus
it needed to extinguish the fire with global
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
do not take much care of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the lack of awareness which has created
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
calamities in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
regions of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
Because of this
, natural assets of the earth in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
.

In conclusion
, I support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of solving this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
globally as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
belongs to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. And the consequences of environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
do have an impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
existence
of living beings.
Thus
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
should be sincere about this issue.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think governments should spend money on faster means of transport. However, others think money should be spent on other priorities (e. g: environment, cost). v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
443 words
7.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Some people think governments should spend money on faster means of transport. However, others think money should be spent on other priorities (e. g: environment, cost). Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1