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some people think that giving it to the poor countries has more negative impacts than a positive answer do what extent do you agree or disagree. v.1

some people think that giving it to the poor countries has more negative impacts than a positive answer do what extent v. 1
Nowadays, many countries are becoming supporters rather than in the last decades. Giving aids have become a fragment of the nations with each other, which is very beneficial for the nation. Certain people ponder that giving helps to the needy state has more negative impacts than positive. However, I completely disagree with this occur, as when a region invests the wages to the other space, it progresses the good relationship with each other. I deem that it has more positive than negative influences. The upcoming paragraphs will examine the both positive and negative impacts of this phenomenon. To embark with, those people who claim that it has more negative impacts. First of all, an agrarian cannot in depend on their shoulders as well as not enjoy an autonomy, because they have to do work under the other society. With this cannot enhance the currency. Besides this, it not only impact the poor homey, but also wealthy bucolic. To cite an example, when the needy union obtains lots of money from the rich countries. Sometimes, poor countries spend all the money on their lifestyle of the people. These kind of nations are not able to return the wages back to the rich nations. Consequently, poor countries have to suffer some losses. So it has certain disadvantages. On the contrary side, it has more positive effects of this. Since the world is smaller, more and more countries are becoming connected with other states. It develops the good relationship with each other. It also helps the poor countries. When richer state donates the salary to the needy democracy. Then the provincial can yield the jobs for the people, which stop unemployment rates of the community. To sum up, even though it has both positive and negative influences of this occurs, yet has many advantages than disadvantages. I judge that it is very essential giving aid to the needy nations.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are becoming supporters
rather
than in the last decades. Giving aids have become a fragment of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. Certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
ponder that giving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needy
state has more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impacts
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
.
However
, I completely disagree with this occur, as when a region invests the wages to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
space, it progresses the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationship with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. I deem that it has more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
influences. The upcoming paragraphs will examine the both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impacts
of this phenomenon.

To embark with, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who claim that it has more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impacts
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, an agrarian cannot in depend on their shoulders
as well
as not enjoy an autonomy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do work under the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
society. With this cannot enhance the currency.
Besides
this, it not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
homey,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
wealthy bucolic. To cite an example, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needy
union obtains lots of money from the rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
spend all the money on their lifestyle of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Did you mean "this kind" or "These kinds"?
These kind
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
are not able to return the wages back to the rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
suffer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
losses.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it has certain disadvantages.

On the contrary
side, it has more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
effects of this. Since the world is smaller, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are becoming connected with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
states. It develops the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationship with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. It
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
richer state donates the salary to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needy
democracy. Then the provincial can yield the jobs for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
unemployment rates of the community.

To sum up,
even though
it has both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
influences of this occurs,
yet
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages than disadvantages. I judge that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential giving aid to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
43Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay some people think that giving it to the poor countries has more negative impacts than a positive answer do what extent v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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