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Tourism has negative environmental impacts on tourist areas. What are these impacts? How can damaging impacts be lessened? v.3

Tourism has negative environmental impacts on tourist areas. What are these impacts? How can damaging impacts be lessened? v. 3
Gone are the days when everyone used to carry cash with them. In contemporary times, people prefer using credit or debit cards for their daily account transactions. According to my opinion, going completely cashless is not practically feasible. This essay will discuss my perspective. To begin with, nobody can deny that carrying currency in your pockets is prone to be stolen, but we all are well aware of ATM fraud which is one of the most serious cybercrime. It is also quite difficult to control. For an instance, my paternal uncle's account got debited because some fraudsters called him and asked about his debit card details and he too told him about his pin number. This incident happened approximately 3 months ago. Till now, cyber-cell and cops are unable to find the victim. Thus, it is not safe to use these cards without proper knowledge. Considering a nation like India, where illiteracy late is on the higher side, using paperless currency is a very bad idea. Also, there are certain situations when due to network or server unavailability, Credit or debit cards do not work. To exemplify, last month, I went to a shopping mall with my family, I thought I will pay expenses by swiping card on point of sales machine. But unfortunately, there was some back end issues and my card stopped working. This situation made me gloomy. Now, I always carry some physical cash along with plastic money so as to avoid any further inconvenience. To conclude, though use of cash should be minimal on a regular basis. But relying completely on plastic currency like ATM cards is not a good option as some barriers associated with safety and convenience are always there.
Gone
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "is".
are
the days when everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to carry cash with them. In contemporary times,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer using credit or debit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
for their daily account transactions. According to my opinion, going completely cashless is not
practically
feasible. This essay will discuss my perspective.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, nobody can deny that carrying currency in your pockets is prone to
be stolen
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we all are well aware of ATM fraud which is one of the most serious
Please check whether a plural form of 'cybercrime' should be used.
cybercrime
. It is
also
quite difficult to control. For an instance, my paternal uncle's account
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
debited
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fraudsters called him and asked about his debit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
details and
he too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
him about his
This phrase is redundant ('N' stands for 'number'). Consider using "pin".
pin number
. This incident happened approximately 3 months ago. Till
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, cyber-cell and cops are unable to find the victim.
Thus
, it is not safe to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
without proper knowledge. Considering a nation like India, where illiteracy late is on the higher side, using paperless currency is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

Also
, there are certain situations when due to network or server unavailability,

Credit or debit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
do not work. To exemplify, last month, I went to a shopping mall with my family, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
I will pay expenses by swiping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
on point of sales machine.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
unfortunately, there was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "backs"?
back
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
issues and my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
working. This situation made me gloomy.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, I always carry
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
physical cash along with plastic money
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
avoid any
further
inconvenience.

To conclude
, though
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of cash should be minimal on a regular basis.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
relying completely on plastic currency like ATM
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
option as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
barriers associated with safety and convenience are always there.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Tourism has negative environmental impacts on tourist areas. What are these impacts? How can damaging impacts be lessened? v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
286 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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