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Some people think that girls should take husband’s name after marriage while others feel that they should not follow this age old tradition. What is your opinion? v.2

Some people think that girls should take husband’s name after marriage while others feel that they should not follow this age old tradition. What is your opinion? v. 2
A few hundred years ago, things were straightforward, when a man and a woman got married, the wife changed her surname to that of her husband's name. But nowadays they are matters of concern. I completely disagree with changing woman's surname, as I see that as a transfer of subservience from father to husband, and losing women's identities to that of men's. Firstly, in the internet age, all the work that the woman did under her previous name is not going to show up in google search anymore. If someone is trying to track her down for job opportunities with the previous name, then it will be a tough time in finding hassles which include changing in all government records, causing more burden. This implicitly imposes her to lose her identity personally and also professionally. Secondly, when it comes to marriage, it is very obvious that the change is imposed mainly on women. She is expected to relocate to her husband's place, leaving her family, job and everything behind. If she refuses to take up the change, she will be considered as violating the tradition and not respecting the family and their culture. Women are expected to be communal, sacrificing their individual interests to the well-being of the family and having the husband's name as a surname can be seen as selfish and forcing them to be the change. It may seem easier to ask men to change their surname according to that of women, but it is always an invisible option and placing the burden entirely on the women to take up the change. To conclude, having a surname of husband’s is solely a woman's decision. The family should respect the women's individuality and should not run behind the tag of owning. In my opinion, people should consider marriage is all about the connection of two hearts, not a name changing event.
A few hundred years ago, things were straightforward, when a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
and a woman
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
married, the wife
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
surname
to that of her husband's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
name
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
nowadays they are matters of concern. I completely disagree with changing woman's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
surname
, as I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that as a transfer of subservience from father to husband, and losing women's identities to that of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
's.

Firstly
, in the internet age, all the work that the woman did under her previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
name
is not going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
up in google search anymore. If someone is trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
her down for job opportunities with the previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
name
, then it will be a tough time in finding hassles which include changing in all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
records, causing more burden. This
implicitly
imposes her to lose her identity
personally
and
also
professionally
.

Secondly
, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to marriage, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
obvious that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
is imposed
mainly
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
. She is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to relocate to her husband's place, leaving her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, job and everything behind. If she refuses to take up the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
, she will
be considered
as violating the tradition and not respecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and their culture.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to be communal, sacrificing their individual interests to the well-being of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and having the husband's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
name
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
surname
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as selfish and forcing them to be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
. It may seem easier to ask
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
surname
according to that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is always an invisible option and placing the burden
entirely
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
to take up the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.

To conclude
, having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
surname
of husband’s is
solely
a woman's decision. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
should respect the women's individuality and should not run behind the tag of owning. In my opinion,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should consider marriage is all about the connection of two hearts, not a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
name
changing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that girls should take husband’s name after marriage while others feel that they should not follow this age old tradition. What is your opinion? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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