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Some people think that getting a degree from univerity is the best way to secure a good job. Others believe that employers value work experience more than a university degree. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people think that getting a degree from univerity is the best way to secure a good job. Others believe that employers value work experience more than a university degree. v. 1
At some point in their lives, all people face the challenge of entering the labour market, hoping to find a great job. However, there is an ongoing debate about what future employers look for, a university education or hands-on experience. In my opinion, it all depends on the nature of the job one aspires to. Thinking about various occupations, it becomes clear that certain jobs require a university degree in a relevant subject from anyone who wants to enter that career path. This condition is clearly stated in the job adverts, and for such jobs no amount of work experience can replace a higher education. Examples of such occupations are doctors and engineers. A nurse who has been working in a hospital for ten years will not become a doctor. This is because these professions require highly specialised knowledge that can only be gained through many years of higher education. However, not all jobs are like that. In some industries, work experience seems more valuable than a degree. When I worked in a bank, some of our managers, who had only secondary education, were promoted to top positions because they knew how the department works inside out. They clearly had an advantage over those with a master's degree who had just joined the bank. From this example, it is obvious that some jobs require extensive knowledge of the business, and in such cases, employers will favour those with several years of experience over fresh university graduates. In conclusion, it seems there is no single path to getting a great job. While a university degree is a prerequisite for some jobs, work experience may be more important for others. Researching the typical requirements for desired positions will help one to make the right choice.
At
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
point in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
face the challenge of entering the
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
market, hoping to find a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
However
, there is an ongoing debate about what future employers look for, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
or hands-on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
. In my opinion, it all depends on the nature of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
one aspires to.

Thinking about various occupations, it becomes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
require a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
in a relevant subject from anyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
wants to enter that career path. This condition is
clearly
stated in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
adverts, and for such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
no amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
can replace a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. Examples of such occupations are doctors and engineers. A nurse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
has been working in a hospital for ten years will not become a doctor. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these professions require
highly
Possible spelling mistake. 'specialised' is British English.
specialised
knowledge that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be gained
through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years of higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
However
, not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are like that.

In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
industries,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
seems more valuable than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
. When I worked in a bank,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of our managers,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
were promoted
to top positions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they knew how the department works inside out. They
clearly
had an advantage over those with a master's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
the bank. From this example, it is obvious that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
require extensive knowledge of the business, and in such cases, employers will
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
those with several years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
over fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
graduates.

In conclusion
, it seems there is no single path to getting a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. While a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
is a prerequisite for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
may be more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for others. Researching the typical requirements for desired positions will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
one to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the right choice.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that getting a degree from univerity is the best way to secure a good job. Others believe that employers value work experience more than a university degree. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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