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Going to University is thought by many to be the best way to secure a good job, on the other hand, some people think that getting work experience and getting a skill is more important. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion v.2

Going to University is thought by many to be the best way to secure a good job, on the other hand, some people think that getting work experience and getting a skill is more important. 2
Many believe that continuing higher education is an effective way to gain employment, while others think that gaining experience and practical skills are better in the long run. I agree with this because in certain cases it is not necessary to go to university to get a good job. On the one hand, some hold the view that professional jobs require university-level knowledge and understanding. This is because recruiters consider university graduates as a valuable human resource. For instance, If someone goes for an interview for a job as a Lawyer in a law firm then that person would certainly need to have completed a Law degree and have spent time in that field. Additionally, the quality and ranking of the university they attended would be a deciding factor in whether they would get the job they desire as many employers consider this fact. On the other hand, others would argue that not all companies require a university degree to secure employment. I agree because certain jobs require practical skills and hands-on experience. For example, designing websites or being a software programmer would require a person to be able to think for themselves, be innovative and have technical experience. Therefore, not all jobs require people to continue their higher education at university. I think that If someone has the experience necessary and aims for a job that does not require higher education, they should take the opportunity rather than spending four years at university. To conclude, although views differ on the best way to gain employment, I believe that in certain fields practical skills and experience would give someone a much better chance of getting their desired job.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
believe that continuing higher education is an effective way to gain employment, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that gaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are better in the long run. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in certain cases it is not
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
necessary


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
hold the view that professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
require
university-level knowledge and understanding. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
recruiters consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
graduates as a valuable human resource.
For instance
, If someone goes for an interview for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
as a Lawyer in a law firm then that person would
certainly
need to have completed a Law degree and have spent time in that field.
Additionally
, the quality and ranking of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
they attended would be a deciding factor in whether they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
they desire as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
employers consider this fact.

On the other hand
, others would argue that not all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
require
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
degree to secure employment. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
require
practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and hands-on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
.
For example
, designing websites or being a
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
software


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
programmer
would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
require
a person to be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
for themselves, be innovative and have technical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
.
Therefore
, not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
require
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to continue their higher education at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that If someone has the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
necessary and aims for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
require
higher education, they should take the opportunity
rather
than spending four years at university.

To conclude
, although views differ on the best way to gain employment, I believe that in certain fields practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
would give someone a much better chance of getting their desired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay Going to University is thought by many to be the best way to secure a good job, on the other hand, some people think that getting work experience and getting a skill is more important. 2

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
278 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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